Americans are obsessed with size, especially the size of the human body. What's too big? What's too small? What's normal? What's abnormal? Women especially struggle to reconcile themselves and their bodies with the images they see on TV and Instagram — images of people who are overwhelmingly slim.
Bombarded by these images, many people begin to confuse "skinny" with "normal." They hear the term "size 16" and freak out because it's so far from what they the sizes they see every day online and read about in the media. But the average American woman actually wears a size 16, according to a study published last year in the International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology and Education. Of course, what that looks like varies from woman to woman. After all, "size" is just a number. As the six women below prove, it only has the power you're willing to give it.
Megan
How did you feel about your body growing up?
I don’t think anybody likes their body at every point in their life, but it was especially hard during middle school and high school. I competed in a lot of pageants and I was told I needed to lose weight. I was told my legs were too short, my arms were too flabby. Things like that. It was really hard to figure out who I was when everyone else was telling me who I was supposed to be. I didn’t feel pretty then.
What would you like to tell your 12-year-old self?
That it gets better. I got older. I found out who I was and I realized that I’m pretty awesome.
What advice would you give other women struggling with self-image?
Look in the mirror every day and pick out one thing you like about yourself. Maybe your eyebrows are on fleek that morning or you are wearing really cute earrings. Just say something you like about yourself every morning and soon you’ll start seeing all these ways that you are beautiful.
Pink Cold Shoulder Ruffle Dress, ASOS, $61; Silver Glitter Heel Sandals, ASOS, $58
Hadassah
Did you feel like you were average-size growing up?
No, I was always a little overweight as a child, so I always got picked on. Even my family members — my brothers — picked on me, so I didn’t feel average, no. I thought average was slim and tall without any excess fat or stretch marks. I was always comparing myself to other girls — in class, at church, on TV. I didn’t look like them. I had all this extra. No young girl should feel that way about her body.
How did you get past that feeling?
It was definitely a process. Modeling actually helped. In the modeling world I was considered “plus-size” and there I was, surrounded by all these women who actually looked like me — women who had curves and weren’t ashamed of them — and it really helped me appreciate my own body.
My religion also helped me. I’m a Christian, and I know that God created me in his image, and how he created me is perfect, and if God thinks I’m perfect, then what was I tripping about?
Is there any part of your body you’re still insecure about?
Probably my eagle wings but I’m coming to accept them too. I’m starting to wear things that expose my arms more. I want to embrace the skin I’m in.
Pale Blue Cold Shoulder Ruffle Top, ASOS, $38; Distressed Jeans, ADDITION ELLE, $32; White & Silver Sneakers, ASOS, $38
Stephanie
How did you feel about your body growing up?
I definitely noticed a difference in my size when I was at the beach with my more petite friends, and I felt like I was wrong or maybe something was wrong with my body. I was sure that being curvaceous or being full-figured was not what you were supposed to be, and I tried hard for many years to go against my natural body type.
My whole life, I struggled with eating disorders. When I was in high school, my friend and I would lie about our age and buy the latest diet pills. I even remember being 12 and doing Tae Bo exercise tapes because, even at that age, I thought I needed to lose weight. Then in college, I was binging and purging a lot. I thought that was the best way to lose weight. I would use laxatives or exercise all day or starve myself.
How did you manage to move past all that?
It’s really just in the past couple of years that I’ve become comfortable in my own skin. It’s all this body-positivity stuff floating around in society and the media and on social media. It’s become so much easier for me to find positive role models now — people that look like me, and are happy and thriving. It sounds silly, but I try to hashtag and post body-positive things on social media, because every time that I read that stuff, or even when I post it myself, it sinks in for me a little bit more.
How do you feel about being a size 16 now?
I think we all need to get over these numbers. They are completely subjective depending on the company or the fit. What matters is how you feel and that you’re happy and that you’re staying true to yourself. Too many people think of beauty as something physical and I don’t think that’s true. I think if you’re happy, you’re beautiful.
Black & White Striped Blazer, LANE BRYANT, $70; Black Bodysuit, LOVESICK, $26; Black Ankle Pants, LANE BRYANT, $40; Black Studded Ballet Flats, ASOS, $43
SallyAnn
How did your size affect the way you dressed growing up?
Being bigger and taller, I thought that also disqualified me from dressing femininely. At the time, all I saw in ads were these small girls and women. When I went shopping at the clothing stores, I didn’t see anything I thought I could wear, so I started to dress like a tomboy — jeans, baggy shirt. I wouldn’t wear a swimsuit — even though I grew up in Hawaii — I just wore shorts and a long T-shirt.
It wasn’t until college, when I moved to New York, that I started to see more plus-size and curvy women wearing these fantastic clothes, and I thought, Well, maybe I can do that too. And bit by bit, I started to try different things — things I’d previously been told were unflattering — and the more I wore them, the more comfortable I became, and the more comfortable I appeared to those around me, to the point where the people I know now say, “Well, of course SallyAnn can wear that! She can wear anything.” But the only reason I can wear the stuff I do is because I just started wearing it. I wasn’t always comfortable, but I did it anyway.
What made that so challenging for you?
I think, being bigger, I already knew that people were going to look at me and I thought that by wearing boring clothes — things that were less feminine and form-fitting — I hoped that I could blend in more. But now I’m like, Why can’t I wear a dress that shows off my figure? I’m going to stand out anyway. I might as well stand out in fabulous clothes.
I got these giant fur coats recently. That’s the next step, I think — not being afraid to take up even more space.
What advice would you like to give your younger self?
I’d love to say, “You’re beautiful just the way you are. Don’t give up in the pleated pants section. Keep looking and you’re going to find something that you look great in. And don’t worry about the sizes — there’s much more to life than that. And don’t worry about fitting in. Fitting in is overrated."
Coral Sports Bra, TORRID, $39; Black & Coral Leggings, TORRID, $55; Pink Jacket, LANE BRYANT, $70; Black Sneakers, ASOS, $31
Rae
How would you describe your style growing up?
I was a tomboy and that’s kind how I hid the fact that I wasn’t confident in my body. I always wore gray basketball shorts and a large T-shirt, whatever color, it didn’t matter. I didn’t match and I didn’t care. I never tried to embrace my curves. I hated form-fitting clothes.
What changed?
I just kind of realized that we’re all created differently, we all have different talents, and therefore we all look different. Honestly, I think the more I began to embrace my own personality, and who I was, the easier it was for me to embrace my body.
What advice would you like to give women who are struggling with poor self-image?
First of all, stop comparing yourself to other women. Instead, write down the things you love about yourself. Focus on those things every single day. You’ll be amazed at how your confidence grows.
Mixed Print Bikini Top, HIGH DIVE BY MODCLOTH, $53; Black and White Striped Bikini Bottoms, ESTHER WILLIAMS (Available at Modcloth), $45
Audrey
Did you feel like your size was average growing up?
I’m adopted and raised in a very white community, so when I hit puberty and started getting hips and boobs, I thought I was fat because all the other girls were kind of straight up and down. I definitely thought I was a lot bigger than whatever the average was. I thought that I was different and that I wasn’t normal. I wasn’t right.
It didn’t feel good. When you’re a kid, you want to be accepted. You want to be a part of what everyone else is doing and when you stand out, that’s not a good thing.
Did the other kids tease you about your size?
I got made fun of a lot for the size of my boobs. It was always guys. They would say things like, “Look at those torpedos!” or, “I bet you could crush cans with those.” And they would say sexual things that made me uncomfortable. That they wanted to touch them.
How did that affect your relationship with your body?
I felt ashamed. I was raised very Christian, and I was definitely taught to hide my body and not bring attention to it, so when people would tease me about my boobs, I felt like I was doing something wrong.
How did you get past that?
After high school, I got a boyfriend. Then we broke up, and I got another boyfriend, and I think being accepted by them made me more accepting of myself. I started to feel beautiful and comfortable in my own skin. I started having sex and embracing my sexuality, and that helped boost my confidence too.
What would you say to your younger self if you had the chance?
I would just try to build up her confidence. I would tell her she was beautiful, and her body is normal and perfect and beautiful just because it’s hers.
White Off-the-Shoulder Top, ELOQUII, $50; White Crochet Skirt, BOOHOO, $9; Silver Glitter Heel Sandals, ASOS, $58
This post was created in collaboration with Redbookmag.com.
Charles Manning
Style Director
I'm 30 percent bunnies, 40 percent of the time.
