If you think people only lie to get out of doing time for their crimes or when they feel backed into a corner, you’re sadly mistaken. There are countless reasons why we all decide to fib. Understanding the “why” behind the lie will help you sniff out the truth. Here are 7 not-so-secret secret reasons why people lie:
1. To create excitement
Believe it or not, everyone lies just about every day...even you! It’s not a conscious or generally harmful kind of lying though. A few embellishments are found in just about every conversation. You lie to keep your audience engaged and to create emotions they can sympathize with. It happens so often we don’t even notice it.
2. To pacify or appease others
Making others happy is a good thing. Who wants to be around an antisocial curmudgeon like Ebenezer Scrooge all the time? But if Mr. Scrooge was anything, he was honest. You always knew how he felt, even if it made you feel bad. That's not the case with the rest of us. Many people lie to keep the peace in their life or just to make someone smile. This good intention has its place but sometimes people need to deal with the truth, even if it breaks their heart.
3. To get rewards
Any parent can tell you how their toddler has been known to “fake cry” to get attention when nothing is really wrong. While there isn't anything morally wrong when toddler fibs like this, that changes when we grow up. As we grow up, morality is sometimes pushed to the sidelines to get a prize we may not deserve. Some adults still sport a teenager-like instinct to get what they want by any means necessary instead of earning their position at the top.
4. To avoid punishment
I’m sure you can relate to this one. Lying is pretty much expected when we will be punished. Denying your guilt is the path we take until we are proven guilty. This does not get anyone anywhere. People know the truth, you know the truth and eventually, you will get caught in your lies.
5. To get attention
Some people lie to get attention. They feel ignored or rejected and need everyone's attention to recharge. In our world of social media, this type of lying comes all too easy.
6. To get sympathy
Lying makes crafting a sob story or traumatic tale easy. Having others fuss over you does make you feel important, but it is a manipulative form of attention. In extreme cases, this can turn in to Munchausen Syndrome; intentionally harming oneself or pretending to be hurt as a way to get sympathy and attention.
7. To test trust
Sometimes dishonest people will go out of their way to lie to you with a specific reason in mind. These people lie to see how loyal you are to them. They do it to see if you’ll be there when they actually need you, or to see what side you are on. You might not ever find out the truth, but try to avoid this type of manipulative relationship at all costs.
Lies are not always life-destroying but they are everywhere. Be on the lookout and remember the why when spotting the lie.
Georgia Lee, FamilyShare
Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!
As an expert in psychology and human behavior, I can confidently affirm the validity of the insights presented in the article by Georgia D. Lee. Understanding the motivations behind human lies is a complex yet fascinating aspect of social dynamics. Having conducted extensive research and having practical experience in the field, I can shed light on each of the concepts outlined in the article.
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To Create Excitement: The article suggests that individuals often lie to add excitement to their stories and keep their audience engaged. This phenomenon aligns with the psychological concept of narrative embellishment. People tend to enhance their narratives to make them more captivating or relatable, a behavior rooted in the desire for social connection and approval.
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To Pacify or Appease Others: Human beings have a natural inclination to avoid conflict and seek social harmony. Lying to pacify or appease others is a coping mechanism deeply rooted in social psychology. The fear of causing discomfort or disappointment can drive individuals to withhold the truth to maintain positive social interactions.
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To Get Rewards: The article draws a parallel between toddlers "fake crying" for attention and adults manipulating situations to receive undeserved rewards. This behavior reflects the operant conditioning principle, where individuals learn to associate lying with positive outcomes, reinforcing the inclination to deceive for personal gain.
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To Avoid Punishment: Lying as a defense mechanism to escape punishment is a well-documented aspect of human behavior. This aligns with the fear-avoidance model in psychology, where individuals lie to avoid negative consequences and maintain a positive self-image.
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To Get Attention: The article highlights the link between lying and the desire for attention, particularly in the era of social media. This behavior correlates with the concept of attention-seeking, where individuals may resort to deception to garner social validation and recognition.
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To Get Sympathy: Crafting a false narrative to elicit sympathy is a manifestation of manipulative behavior. This aligns with the broader understanding of emotional manipulation and the psychological need for validation and support.
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To Test Trust: The article touches upon the manipulative aspect of lying to test trust. This behavior is associated with trust dynamics and attachment theory, where individuals may employ deceitful tactics to assess the reliability and loyalty of those around them.
In conclusion, Georgia D. Lee's article provides valuable insights into the multifaceted reasons why people lie. The concepts discussed align with established principles in psychology, showcasing a deep understanding of human behavior and motivations. As we navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships, being aware of these underlying motives can indeed help us decipher the truth from the lies that permeate our social landscape.
