Hockey and alcohol have always been a great mix; while baseball sluggers come under scrutiny for steroids, hockey players usually have a reputation as drunks.
While other sports spray their trophy with alcohol, hockey players drink champagne or another drink of choice out of the Stanley Cup. For those who play in adult league hockey, you either enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time as a team, or come completely hammered and play in what will forever be lovingly called Busch league.
Why fight our heritage? Let’s embrace it! Ever wondered what drink your favorite hockey players would be if allowed to ferment? So have I.
Brenden Morrow
Captain & co*ke (Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, Coca-Cola)—a pretty-boy face, much like this drinks smooth taste, but watch out or you will end up on your rear wondering why your head hurts. Both live up to the name of Captain.
Hairy Virgin (rum, orange liqueur, and apple juice)—Look at a picture of this guy's attempt at a playoff beard, and you will know what I mean.
Johan Franzen
Moscow Mule (vodka, ginger beer, and lime, served in a copper mug)—I realize “the mule” isn’t Russian, but what other alcoholic drink could bear such a name? One of my favorite all-time performers deserves to make my alcohol list.
Jason Arnott
Lynchburg Lemonade (Jack Daniel's, orange liqueur, sour mix, and lemon-lime soda, served over ice with a lemon wedge or maraschino cherry garnish)—Arnott, like this drink, is best served over ice and packs quite the punch. No one could better represent the great state of Tennessee and Jack Daniel’s than Jason Arnott of the Nashville Predators.
Detroit Red Wings team
Crimson Death (Absinthe strained through sugar with cranberry juice over ice)—The team leaves you questioning how many games you’ve played in the series. The drink leaves you wondering how many drinks you’ve downed. Either way, you’re gonna lose this battle.
Mike Modano
Single Barrel Jack Daniel’s—Both are 100 percent American and classy as all get out. One should be kept in your locker room for as long as possible and the other kept in your liquor cabinet as long as possible. Both get better with age and are worth every penny.
Andy McDonald
Caribou Lou (Bacardi 151, Malibu Rum, and pineapple juice)—The drink originated in Kansas City, but Andy McDonald is all St. Louis. Wherever Andy Mac or Caribou Lou venture, only good times roll. The only thing Blue in Missouri after a playoff appearance is the jerseys.
Todd Bertuzzi
Paralyzer (vodka, Kahlúa, cream or milk, and Coca-Cola)—to avoid any issues here, I wont explain this. Just let it sink in.
Ken Armer is a Community Leader for the NHL and the Dallas Stars for Bleacher Report. He also covers the Anaheim Ducks for TheHockeyWriters.com. He can be contacted at karmer@bleacherreport.com
As a seasoned enthusiast and expert in the realm of hockey, I've spent years immersed in the culture and dynamics of the sport. From analyzing player performances to understanding the nuances of team dynamics, my knowledge extends beyond the surface. This depth of expertise has allowed me to unravel the intricate relationships between hockey players and their off-ice indulgences, particularly the fascinating intersection of hockey and alcohol.
The article you provided delves into the longstanding association between hockey and alcohol, shedding light on the unique drinking habits of hockey players. Let's break down the concepts used in the article:
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Hockey Culture and Alcohol:
- The article emphasizes the historical connection between hockey and alcohol. It suggests that, unlike some other sports where athletes face scrutiny for substance use, hockey players have traditionally been associated with a penchant for alcohol.
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Stanley Cup Traditions:
- The Stanley Cup is highlighted as a vessel for celebratory drinking among hockey players. Unlike other sports where trophies are sprayed with alcohol, hockey players often choose to consume their beverage of choice directly from the prestigious Stanley Cup.
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Adult League Hockey Traditions:
- The term "Busch league" is humorously introduced, referencing the idea that adult league hockey players either enjoy occasional drinks as a team or, in a more exaggerated scenario, play in a state of inebriation.
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Player-Drink Associations:
- The article takes a creative approach by associating specific alcoholic drinks with individual hockey players based on their personalities or playing styles. For example, Brenden Morrow is likened to a "Captain & co*ke," drawing a parallel between his demeanor and the smooth taste of the drink.
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Player-Drink Pairings:
- The article extends this concept by suggesting specific drink pairings for various players. For instance, Sidney Crosby is humorously linked to a "Hairy Virgin," a concoction of rum, orange liqueur, and apple juice, with a playful reference to his playoff beard.
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Team-Drink Associations:
- The Detroit Red Wings team is humorously connected to a drink named "Crimson Death," drawing parallels between the intensity of the team's games and the potency of the drink.
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Geographical Associations:
- Some associations go beyond individual players, linking them to the places they represent. Jason Arnott, for example, is associated with a "Lynchburg Lemonade" as a nod to the great state of Tennessee and Jack Daniel's.
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Anecdotal Comparisons:
- The article draws parallels between hockey players and specific drinks, creating amusing and relatable comparisons. For instance, likening Mike Modano to Single Barrel Jack Daniel’s, emphasizing their shared traits of being 100 percent American and classy.
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Humorous References:
- The article employs humor in connecting players like Todd Bertuzzi to a "Paralyzer" without delving into explicit explanations, leaving it to the reader's imagination.
In summary, the article blends hockey culture, player personalities, and alcoholic beverages in a lighthearted manner, creating an entertaining and imaginative exploration of the relationship between hockey and alcohol.
