Emotionally intelligent employees may come with a dark side – manipulation (2024)

Employees who may seem emotionally intelligent and an asset to the workplace may also be emotionally manipulative and this may be detrimental to workplaces in the long run, preliminary findings of a survey show. The study has surveyed 351 people so far from different organisations, 81 who were managers.

Employees in the survey admitted to using either malicious techniques such as making a colleague feel guilty or anxious or they turned on fake charm, for example giving compliments, to get what they want.

Some research shows that people who have the ability to be emotionally manipulative, have high levels of emotional intelligence, which can be seen as a positive asset to the workplace.

Emotional manipulation is defined as the act of influencing another person’s feelings and behaviours for one’s own interest. People who are good at emotional manipulation also show signs of what is called the ‘dark triad’ which includes psychopathy, narcissism and Machiavellianism.

People who are labelled as psychopaths tend to lack empathy, just as narcissists have a strong sense of entitlement and Machiavellians manipulate others.

In the study people who admitted to manipulating others maliciously scored higher on measurements of Machiavellianism and narcissism. People who admitted to faking things to get what they want, scored higher on measurements of Machiavellianism, narcissism and emotional intelligence.

Lots of people can figure out ways to manipulate others, but whether or not they choose to depends on kind of person they are. For example, if you are not as sensitive towards others, as is the case for narcissists, you will probably would find it quite easy to manipulate others at work.

Some of the traits of those within the 'dark triad’ can seem desirable in the workplace- at least at first. For example, it can be difficult to spot a narcissist because they can seem agreeable and appear well adjusted.

These people also tend to desire (and feel entitled to) leadership positions, and come across as good leaders. Employees with these personalities usually are very confident and their ability to remain cool under pressure tends to make people feel more secure.

However, in the workplace, the performance of people who focus on themselves a lot is generally poor and they are usually not as committed to the organisation. Interestingly these people are also not likely to recognise that they may be a problem in the workplace.

Being fake may seem less harmful than being malicious. However, the study found that employees are distressed by the thought of being manipulated. In the survey five to 14% of people report feeling manipulated in a malicious way on a weekly basis, and 13-15% in a fake way.

Employees could be just perceiving that they are being manipulated, without actually being manipulated. The study tried to achieve a more objective view by asking participants if they believed their co-workers were being manipulated the same way.

Surveyed employees thought that both they and their co-workers were being manipulated in a similar way. This does suggest that behaviour is probably real, and that manipulators may target more than one person at work.

The research presents a challenge for organisations to consider how necessary excellent emotional and social skills are when recruiting or promoting individuals, because it is possible that these people are also manipulative.

Fair Work trade commissioner, Anna Lee Crib, said that in 2014, of the 701 applications made to the commission, 241 cases were withdrawn and not one case of bullying was found. In her opinion some people may be confusing bullying with “personality conflicts”.

Unsurprisingly, targets of workplace bullying can react emotionally. Because of this, it may seem like two people just butting heads. This, coupled with the fact that manipulation is very subtle, means that when people report the behaviour there is a high chance of it being put down to a personality conflict when in fact it could be defined as bullying.

This is something very important for organisations to be aware of because interventions that do not acknowledge or address the behaviours of the instigator will not be effective, and could harm employees even more.

Emotionally intelligent employees may come with a dark side – manipulation (2024)

FAQs

Can emotionally intelligent people be manipulative? ›

This leads me to the dark side of high levels of EQ; negative manipulation. People with high emotional intelligence can use it to unfair advantage. This can be in a way of helping, protecting, and promoting oneself and others, or using EQ to promote oneself at the cost of others.

Does emotional intelligence have a dark side? ›

When we are able to notice other people's feelings, we can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests”. This represents the dark side of EI: using one's knowledge of emotions to strategically achieve self-serving goals.

How do you respond to emotionally manipulative people? ›

Be Assertive

Be direct and persistent, and use "I" statements to avoid generalities and accusations. For instance, you could say, "I would feel taken advantage of if I did that" instead of, "You're taking advantage of me!" Manipulators will often change the subject or use other avoidance tactics when you confront them.

What are the negative effects of emotional intelligence in the workplace? ›

- Negative Impact: A team member with high emotional intelligence may manipulate others by using their understanding of emotions to gain advantage or control over their teammates. This behavior can create distrust and lead to an unhealthy working atmosphere within the team.

What screams a highly intelligent person? ›

Highly intelligent people I have known tend to: Be very aware of the vast number of things they don't know, and are somewhat humble and open-minded. Learn from others across a wide range of topics. Don't talk about their IQ and Intelligence, and are keenly aware that there are many other things important in life.

How to beat a manipulator? ›

Understand the techniques of a manipulator.
  1. Pay attention to their words and actions. Manipulative people often use subtle language to control the situation. ...
  2. Recognize the signs of manipulation. ...
  3. Be aware of body language. ...
  4. Be confident​ ...
  5. Ask clarifying questions​ ...
  6. Focus on facts​ ...
  7. Keep your cool​

What does a person with high emotional intelligence look like? ›

At a Glance

Emotionally intelligent people tend to be self-aware, empathetic, expressive, and perceptive. They are good at regulating their emotions and staying motivated as they work toward their goals. They also have strong social skills and use their understanding of emotions to communicate effectively.

What emotion leads to the dark side? ›

To tap into the power of the dark side was to indulge in raw emotions such as passion, anger, and hatred.

How to spot a master manipulator? ›

They include:
  1. They know your weaknesses and how to exploit them.
  2. They use your insecurities against you.
  3. They convince you to give up something important to you, to make you more dependent on them.
  4. If they succeed in their manipulation, they will continue to do so until you get out of the situation.
Apr 3, 2023

What's the worst type of manipulation? ›

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is all about making you question yourself, including your memory, your trust in yourself, your sanity, what you're feeling, and even your own identity. This often shows up as the abuser calling you “crazy” or manipulating situations to instill doubt in yourself.

How do you disarm an emotional manipulator? ›

7 little-known ways to psychologically disarm a manipulator
  1. 1) Understand their motives. ...
  2. 2) Set your boundaries. ...
  3. 3) Stay calm and composed. ...
  4. 4) Don't take it personally. ...
  5. 5) Know when to walk away. ...
  6. 6) Assert your own thoughts and feelings. ...
  7. 7) Seek support. ...
  8. Empower yourself through knowledge.
Mar 27, 2024

What is emotional intelligence weakness? ›

Low emotional intelligence refers to the inability to accurately perceive emotions (in both yourself and others) and to use that information to guide your thinking and actions. You may know someone who never seems to be able to control their emotions or understand the feelings of others.

What is the biggest criticism of emotional intelligence? ›

This criticism encompasses several key points…

Subjectivity in Assessment- Many EI tests are based on self-assessment, where individuals rate their emotional skills. This approach can lead to inflated or inaccurate responses due to a lack of self-awareness or social desirability bias.

What causes high emotional intelligence? ›

High emotional intelligence is caused by a combination of self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management skills.

Can emotional people be manipulative? ›

Emotionally manipulative people prey on this vulnerability. They may play the victim or remind you of past favors. They want you to feel a sense of obligation or sympathy that they think will make them more likely to get what they want.

What personality type do manipulators have? ›

Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic, antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder (usually by feigning distress or using flattery, gaslighting, emotional blackmail or love-bombing or seduction to obtain affection or to avoid abandonment).

What type of intelligence is manipulation? ›

Manipulative Intelligence has been classified as a kind of human intelligence which is not amenable to conscious linguistic expression. Examples of what has been classified as manipulative intelligence are the tricks and knack of manipulation and assembly.

Can narcissists be emotionally intelligent? ›

In fact, the narcissist is so supportive that he or she appears emotionally intelligent. This honeymoon phase usually lasts until the partner is seriously invested in the relationship.

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