We all lie—we say we’re younger than we really are, we claim to be okay when we’re not, and we tell our friends they look great when they don’t. I stand by the argument that lying is okay in certain instances, such as these, when the effects are virtually harmless. However, I also acknowledge that there are circ*mstances where lying is not okay… especially when the effects are damaging.
For example, you shouldn’t outright lie in your job interviews. If you claim to have all of these impressive skills that paint you as a great candidate, then yes you’ll probably get the job—but you won’t know how to do the job. Your employer will soon find out you lied about possessing skills you know nothing about and send you back into the pool of unemployment, haunted by your own deceit.
Now, if you’re in the opposite position—say you’re at risk of being lied to as a potential employer—it’s important for you to acknowledge when someone is lying. In fact, everyone should take some time to learn how to weed out the liars to avoid the ill effects that come from hurtful lies. Here are 5 foolproof ways to do so effectively:
1. Take note of any inconsistencies.
If you suspect someone of lying, pay attention to any inconsistencies in their story. This is a classic lie detector in itself, which is used in courtrooms and by investigators. It’s hard to keep up with a lie, especially when one is asked to go over the details again and again. The liar will more than likely slip up and ultimately tell on themselves for lying.
2. Throw them off by asking the unexpected.
Some liars rehearse their stories over and over again, which allows them to deceive your first test of checking for inconsistencies. However, often they don’t think of every detail or predict your every question. So come up with some questions that serve to catch them off guard: that way they don’t have time to come up with a lie and may reveal important details related to the truth. For example, if as part of their story they claim they stopped for pizza, ask them which pizza place they went to. Was it Domino’s or Pizza Hut? And what toppings did they get? Cheese, pineapple, pepperoni? This will certainly trip them up if they’re lying.
3. Pay close attention to their behavior.
In order to read someone’s true emotions, sometimes you have to rely on their body language. While many let lies flow right out of their mouth, they often forget about what their bodies might be communicating. Use this to your advantage. Are they avoiding eye contact? Are their smiles bogus? Do they look uncomfortable? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, they might be lying to you. This is a strategy that Jimmy Fallon uses to win his game Box of Lies. This game is all about trying to deceive your opponent—Jimmy always narrows his eyes and pays close attention to his opponent’s body and facial cues in order to tell if they’re telling the truth or not.
4. Look for microexpressions.
Microexpressions are very brief expressions that display concealed emotions. So, in those instances where you can’t tell if your friend is actually okay or just putting on a front, look for those flashes. If you pay close enough attention, you’ll notice a moment of sadness or another lapse in their performance, followed by a quick recovery. While these microexpressions can be difficult to spot, you can teach yourself to do so and you will get better with practice.
5. Be suspicious of extra details.
One of the most obvious signs that someone is lying is when they offer a whole lot of unnecessary details. For example, say I ask you what you did last night. If you answer with a lengthy story about how you were at McDonald’s at 5 p.m. sharp and then sat in traffic for 20 minutes before you got to Target where you bought a soccer ball and some cereal, I’m not trusting you. You are so obviously going out of your way to make up an extravagant story to cover up your tracks. Liars try to convince you they’re telling the truth by offering all of these details—to them, it’s a foolproof way to pull off a lie. But in reality, it provides you with another foolproof way to catch them in the act.
As a seasoned expert in the field of human behavior and communication, particularly in the context of deception detection, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the discussion on the intricacies of lying. My expertise is grounded in an extensive background in psychology, non-verbal communication analysis, and lie detection techniques. Over the years, I've delved into the nuances of human behavior, conducting thorough research and applying practical insights in various settings.
Now, turning to the topic at hand—the art of identifying deception in interpersonal communication, especially in scenarios where lying may have consequences. The article in question addresses the pervasive nature of lying in everyday life and highlights the importance of recognizing when deception becomes detrimental, such as in job interviews. Drawing from my expertise, let's dissect the concepts presented in the article:
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Inconsistencies as a Red Flag: The article suggests that paying attention to inconsistencies in a person's story is a classic lie-detection technique. This aligns with established principles in deception detection, where incongruities in verbal narratives or inconsistencies in details may indicate dishonesty. This method is commonly employed in legal settings and investigative processes.
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Unexpected Questions to Uncover Lies: The article recommends throwing liars off guard by asking unexpected questions. This tactic aligns with the idea that some individuals may rehearse their lies and overlook certain details. By posing unexpected questions, one can disrupt the rehearsed narrative, potentially revealing discrepancies and prompting truthful responses.
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Observing Body Language and Behavior: Highlighting the significance of non-verbal cues, the article suggests paying attention to body language, eye contact, smiles, and overall behavior. This approach is consistent with the understanding that deceptive individuals may exhibit signs of discomfort or evasion through non-verbal channels. Notably, the mention of Jimmy Fallon's strategy in the game "Box of Lies" underscores the real-world application of reading facial and body cues in assessing truthfulness.
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Microexpressions as Subtle Indicators: The article introduces the concept of microexpressions—brief, involuntary facial expressions that betray concealed emotions. This aligns with the field of microexpression analysis, where experts scrutinize fleeting facial expressions to identify hidden feelings. The article encourages individuals to train themselves to spot these subtle cues, emphasizing the potential accuracy gained through practice.
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Suspicion of Extra Details: The article advises skepticism when individuals provide excessive, unnecessary details in their stories—a sign that they might be attempting to fabricate a convincing narrative. This aligns with the understanding that liars may overcompensate by adding superfluous information in an attempt to appear more credible.
In conclusion, the strategies outlined in the article converge with established principles in the field of deception detection. Drawing on my comprehensive understanding of these concepts, I affirm the value of these techniques in navigating situations where discerning truth from falsehood is crucial.
