Should Parents be Able to Look Through Their Kids Phones? (2024)

Nandhika Kurakula, Staff Reporter|September 30, 2019

Privacy (noun): the state or condition of being free from being observed or disurbed by other people. Should it be considered an invasion of privacy if parents go through their kids’ phones?

Around 88% of teens have phones nowadays, which causes worry in parents who are just trying to be protective. Parents can get concerned and go through their kids’ apps, search history and text messages to make sure the kids aren’t doing anything the parents don’t agree with. This will make parents less scared if they see that their kid is not doing anything they are not supposed to be doing.

Going through kids’ phones may be a good thing for parents, but how does it make kids feel?

Parents are obviously worried about their kids and want to make sure they are staying safe, but in some instances, looking through their kids’ phones affects a third party.

“If your friend has a really big problem that they were like, ‘okay, don’t tell anyone,’ but then if your parents suddenly just go through your phone and then they snoop into your friend’s business, it affects more than one person,” said freshman Alicia Zhang.

Going through the kid’s phone might make the kid not trust their parents as much because the parent is not completely trusting their kid. It could make the kid feel like they don’t have control over what they text, for example, on their phone.

Is it better if parents give their kids some warning before going through their phone?

“If the parents tell their kid in advance that they will go through their phone, it is better than doing it on the spot, but they still should not do it if there is not a good reason,” said sophom*ore Hannah Wang.

To what extent does looking out for their kid turn into an invasion of privacy?

“I think that search history is okay if they feel a need to but I think that texts, honestly, is an invasion of privacy,” said junior Sophie Konstantopoulos.

Overall, parents should be able to trust their kid enough to not look through their phones. This will also maintain trust and a healthy relationship. If there is heavy evidence that there is something that should be investigated, then it’s okay, but if not… teens should have some privacy.

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Should Parents be Able to Look Through Their Kids Phones? (2024)

FAQs

Should Parents be Able to Look Through Their Kids Phones? ›

Overall, parents should be able to trust their kid enough to not look through their phones. This will also maintain trust and a healthy relationship. If there is heavy evidence that there is something that should be investigated, then it's okay, but if not… teens should have some privacy.

Should parents look through their child's phone? ›

After about 12 months of the child's phone ownership (give or take), checking phones needs to fade, and ongoing open communication needs to become the mainstay. At this older stage, parents should have frequent, open discussions with their children about online safety, respect and responsibility.

Do I have the right to look through my child's phone? ›

The phone plan is probably in your name and you probably bought the electronic devices. But even if not, you have every right and responsibility to check them if you've been given cause to do so because you have the right and obligation to keep your home safe, your child safe, and your other children safe.

What age should your parents stop looking through your phone? ›

When you give a kid a device will determine how long a parent is going to be monitoring them, though not all parents agree on when they should give up control. As we showed in our previous survey coverage, parents tend to agree that they have to monitor kids up to about age 10.

Can my parents legally look through my phone? ›

Generally, parents with kids under the age of 18. have a right to go through their kids phone.

Should I read my 11 year old's text messages? ›

Age (and maturity). Younger or less mature kids are going to need more supervision, but as teens age, they're going to need more independence. If your kid is 11, 12, maybe 13, phone checks may make sense. But if they're older than that, it's important to start loosening the reins and giving them more independence.

Should I monitor my 14 year old's phone? ›

Secretly checking their phone is not OK, according to Dr. Moreno, who recommends “looking at the device together, as it's an opportunity to build trust and communication.” She adds, “Snooping bypasses both trust and communication and often does more harm to the parent-child relationship than good.

Is it okay to go through my daughter's phone? ›

As tempting as it may be to grab the phone and thumb through it without anyone knowing, Heitner advises against it. “If you do monitor, you should disclose that to your kids,” Heitner tells Yahoo Life. “Do it with them or with their knowledge. Tell them what you are looking for.”

Should I monitor my child's text messages? ›

“It's just a tool. Reading your child's text messages is not that different than eavesdropping or reading their diary.” She advises parents to stay in their lane by steering clear of needless snooping, whether trying to find out what your kids are saying or who they are hanging out with.

What do I do if I find inappropriate texts on my child's phone? ›

Tell them that you understand they may be mad and will give them a little time to calm down but we are going to talk about what I saw and what concerns me about it. 6. Discuss and decide on appropriate consequences and expected future behavior. It helps to ask them what they think the consequences should be.

Can your parents legally take your phone if you pay for it? ›

Regarding personal belongings like your computer and phone, if these items were purchased by you or given to you as a gift, they are your property. Your parents do not have the right to take these away from you.

Should you read your kids' phone? ›

Your kids may not like it, but they'll respect you for being honest. They'll also understand your point of view better if you explain why you want to see what's on their phone: It helps to keep them safe.

What age should I turn off parental controls? ›

As you build trust together, you can also start talking about how you'll start removing these restrictions as kids get closer to 18, because ultimately, they'll need to learn how to navigate tech on their own. “I like to let go of control as they're turning to 16 or 17,” Werle-Kimmel says.

Can my mom read my texts? ›

The only way to get records of the content of texts other than viewing them on the phone itself is with a court order. Other than that, the account holder can see the numbers texted and when, but not the actual messages.

Is it illegal for my parents to read my text messages? ›

Given the scenario, is it illegal for a parent to look through your phone? No. It is absolutely legal as long as the kid is underage. That's why legal authorities and police keep urging people to keep a check on their kids' devices in order to avoid any mishap.

Is it an invasion of privacy for your parents to go through your phone? ›

There is no invasion of privacy when a parent checks their child's social media account, phone or internet searches. You are protecting your children from inappropriate content and other malicious activities.

Is it OK to monitor your child's phone? ›

Consider your child's age and digital behavior when deciding whether to monitor devices. Then, if you choose to monitor, talk to them about it and explain why it's important. No amount of monitoring can protect kids from everything. And kids can often figure out how to get around parental controls.

What percentage of parents go through their child's phone? ›

In a study from 2016, when the Pew Research Center most recently studied this phenomenon, 61 percent of parents admitted to monitoring their kids' internet activity, and almost half said they looked through their kids' messages or call logs.

Why shouldn't parents track their child's phone? ›

Parents should be able to ask their child where they are and not rely on an app to confirm their activity and whereabouts. Having a trust-based connection between a parent and a child is essential. Putting your trust in an app undermines that relationship.

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