Have you listened to this song? Have a listen.
I was listening to this song on my long drive home from channel 7 yesterday afternoon. I was past the traffic and tunnels, past the cars and the lanes of cars and on the final stretch home where the hills where rolling out their green carpet, the cows chewing, the beautiful late early summer afternoon sunshine doing it’s thing. Started sobbing, because that’s what I apparently do every time I hear this song. It speaks right inside to your soul…somehow…talks to the bit right down deep where you push stuff away to I think. Well to me anyway….such beautiful words and a beautiful voice.
You want to write a novel, make beautiful music
Acting lessons, you know inspiring humans
Learn a languange and run like the wind
Help people fit in ,travel to every country
And make a million dollars
And smile when the children have babies
Make the heart your home
Invinting in the warm you want
An amazing life
But you can’t decide
You think you have to be fully formed already
Don’t ya?
You want this amazing life
But you can’t decide
You don’t have to be just one thing
But you have to start with something
You’ll be a little bit older in October
You’ve been acting on your pre birth promise
Now you think that this journey is over
Let me encourage you to know
You will feel it when it is over
It feels like hell taking inside of me
Time to be still and listen for a while
You want this amazing life
But you can’t decide
You think you have to be fully formed already
Don’t you?
You want an amazing life
But you can’t decide
You don’t have to be just one thing
But you have to start with something
You don’t have to be just one thing
But you have to start with something
You do not have to be just one thing
But you have to start with something
This has been an amazing year for me. Somehow it seems that we are just a few weeks off the end of it, and it’s hard not be reflective as it draws to a close. For many years now, as a grown up, and especially a Mum, I’ve always found January to be extraordinarily depressing. The silly season ends and there you are, same as the year before, staring down the barrel of another year. Work will start again, kids need to get back to School and routine, clothes need to be washed and someone (namely you) has to go and fill the cupboards with food. You’re left wondering what will happen to YOU this year. What are YOU meant to be doing? What things are in store for YOU? I always get like this…wondering what it is I am meant to be doing, and how earth I am meant to work out how to do it. I know Mum’s of young kids can especially feel this….so much pressure and needs and demands on you, putting your own needs to the back of a very long line.
I still don’t know what I am meant to be doing. I feel like this year more than ever, in my whole life, I’m closer to knowing though. It’s a good feeling. A really good feeling.I can’t believe that each week for the past 6 months I have been driving up to a TV studio and going on air. Huh! I can’t believe I am making a living from something so simple as a blog, and my life, and something that I love so much. How lucky is that? I’ve learnt so much this past year…about people and blogging and working and so much about me. About what motivates me and what just plain drains we out. I’ve worked hard and I know that 2014 is just going to be even more work. I’m ready. While at times I pinch myself at the sometimes glamorous stuff I get to do, I try to remember that it’s just that. Most of the time that stuff isn’t real. It’s fleeting and while it’s fun at the time, it’s not anything REAL. Anything that COUNTS. You know? It’s been an absolute pleasure to learn a very good life lesson this year from the beautiful (inside and out) Kris Smith. I’ve never come across someone as genuinely nice as him in the flashy media world – not caught up on all the bullsh*t that people can be caught up in…namely their egos and feelings of self-importance and worth. He taught me this:
And I like it very much. I’m going to remember that for a long time.
I know that after Christmas, when there may be some quiet moments to yourself (for a change) that you take them and think back on all you have done this year. It might not be flashy, or fun, but I bet it’s been real and actually important. Those comforting arms and words around a little person that make them feel safe. And loved. A held hand with your partner that reassures them that STILL, after all these years, that you love them so damn much. A beautiful moment with a friend – laughing and being silly or holding them close in a hug as they hurt. The real stuff. The important stuff. And while you might not think it’s much, I reckon it’s something.
Remember that while you might just be a Mum or Dad or wife or whatever right now, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be that way forever. You don’t have to be just one thing…I hope that the year ahead brings you your something.
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