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I’ve mused over this headline for a while. And I’ve thought about this story for the last 5 years. I make mental notes on my Pixel, my iPad, in Google Keep, on a notepad, and discuss-it-to-death sessions with my patient wife, Rashida Shams.
And I think I have nailed it. Here is a distillation of the collective wisdom from countless books I’ve read, meetings with hundreds of newsmakers, eccentrics, philosophers, and mysticals over hedonic lunches, coffees, dinners and sheesha sessions — and working with some of the most talented, inspirational people in three (3) Fortune 500 companies and five (5) startups.
Note: This is not an exhaustive list. There might be 11 rules.
#1 — Embrace your passion. Countless pundits have said this. Numerous movies made, speeches given, words spoken. There is a reason. There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. Live by choice, not by chance. Whatever your passion, just do it. The world will reciprocate. Money will follow. Dreams will become realities. Take the first step — today.
#2 — Take care of yourself, first. Eat, drink, think, sleep, and live better. Research repeatedly proves this. A healthy body + a healthy mind = amazing experiences. Stretch in the morning. Eat a garlic clove everyday. Drink water. Munch less. Eat nutrient-dense foods, not calorie-dense. Last meal at the 3-hour mark before sleep. Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Wash your face. Looking good, confidence, calm mind, bright skin, and a positive outlook are wired together. Make peace with your past. You don’t need to be better than anyone else; you just need to be better than you used to be.
#3 — Build a strong network. A strong network means a network you can learn from, teach, and be inspired from. A strong network can be relaxing (friends get-together on a Thursday over drinks) and it also means people you can rely on for professional help and guidance. Avoid backbiters, pessimists, manipulators, energy-drainers — as well as folks who are wavering, unreliable, disloyal, and untrustworthy. They are best met with a hand wave from far away. Be the dumbest person in the room — learn from others. Remember: you are the average of the 5 people you connect with the most. Choose your network wisely.
#4 — Read books. If someone can give you a lifetime of learnings in a book for $20 or so, jump on it. You are learning and stretching your mind. You are getting tips to advance rapidly vs learning and stumbling on your own. Read different genres. Absorb the old and new texts. Read history, religion, politics, arts, business and more. Avoid gimmicky and instant-gratification books. The 48 Laws of Power, Animal Farm, Rework, and countless others are permanently on my bookshelf. You will become a better story-teller, and a better citizen when you understand all perspectives. If you don’t dig books, look to YouTube, Udemy, Khan Academy, TED Talks, and more.
#5 — Capture and savour moments. Instant coffee. Uber. Subway hops. Eat-and-go. Drive-thrus. There’s rarely time to stop — and smell the roses, tree leaves, and the rain. Look around. Slo-mo your walk. Inhale. Exhale. Smell. Feel. Touch. The world is a fascinating place — be it your neighborhood street or basking on an exotic beach. My favorite hobby is taking photos. Endless streams. Not superficial, narcissistic selfies (well, maybe sometimes) — but of people, contexts, and places that will be fun to scroll on my phone/tablet or see in photobooks (that my wife makes). It will put a genuine smile on your face.
#6 — Take care of others. Something magical happens when you help someone. You get rewarded by karma. Countless billionaires do this — and swear by it. In fact, almost all the folks on the Forbes list confirm that giving is something they started a long time ago before they became wealthy — and wish they could have started much earlier in life. Giving is powerful. For both parties. Help someone financially. Assist someone with polishing their resume. Mow your aunt’s lawn. Pay for the next person in the fast-food checkout lane. Give flowers to your wife. Giving is not measured in dollars and size, but in intention and heart.
#7 — Travel the earth. We live on an amazing planet. Bountiful, full of life, surprises, wonders, majestic cities, and breath-taking horizons. If you have never ventured outside your city/state/country, you are missing out. Spend money on experiences, not things. Try the strange-sounding (or looking) dish. Learn a few words in a foreign language. Venture in a never-set-foot neighborhood in your city. We travel, initially, to lose ourselves — and we travel, next, to find ourselves.
#8 — Consume wisely. We are bombarded with subtle messages. Buy this. Drink that. Wear those. Billboards, Instagram ads, TV, and YouTube — it’s everywhere. Make cleaner, better, wiser choices. Learn about who is making what you are consuming. Understand the value-system, political stances, and ethical/social alignments of companies. Understand what is it that you are consuming. Carbon footprints, quality, purity, and ulterior motive. Cheaper is almost always more expensive for your body, soul, the earth or society. Eat less, exercise more. Skip upgrading your phone every year, and invest in your education, someone else’s, or pay off debt. Demand better quality — be it food or your iPhone charger. Bring your own cup for coffee. Recycle newspapers — better yet, read digital.
#9 — Earn more. Money is important. It warms our homes, and makes the world go round. Enough of it cushions the harsh realities of the world. It allows you to travel, explore, sing, laugh, eat, and be yourself — comfortably. It insulates you. Focusing on it too much is when it becomes a disease. Having it allows you to expeditiously help people around you. Be part of causes that move you, inspire you. Earn it smartly. If you’re in a dead-end job, quit (see rule #1). Have diverse and multiple lines of income. Replace every expense with an automatic income stream ($100 monthly cell phone bill paid by online advertising revenue from your blog/Instagram/YouTube). Go from employee, to self-employed, to business owner, to investor. Employees exchange time for money. Business owners leverage (10 Uber-like drivers working for a taxi business owner). Start early. Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
#10 — Be spiritual. Find your purpose, and your place. Believe in something greater than you. Anchor yourself with submission to powers beyond your realm. An unexamined life is not worth living. Repair your wounds, face your demons, conquer yourself. Embrace karma, listen to soulful music, gaze into the endless lake/ocean, and cherish serendipity. Let go of trying to control everything, and trying to please everyone. Let go of a sense of entitlement, pride, perfectionism, and negativity. And learn to seek comfort in resentment and failure. When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself. Free yourself. The cosmic world will adjust/plan/work to make you achieve the impossible. That, will be your legacy.
