There are a couple of ways to go when you get an email from a malpractice claims counsel that opens chillingly: “This concerns a matter of extreme urgency that is causing me great distress.”
One, you can stop reading, delete the message, and pretend you never got it.
Two, you can keep reading.
I chose the second option. Partly I did so because I knew the sender. In fact he is a good friend.
But mostly I kept reading because I am no longer in active practice, which means my days of causing anyone other than my spouse “great distress” are largely behind me. I figured whatever was bugging my buddy had nothing to do with me.
Myself Is Reflexive, Like Looking In a Mirror
Turns out I was right. My friend was in high dudgeon over the misuse of the word “myself.”
“Please write a blogpost about this,” he implored. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a letter from a lawyer that contains a phrase like, ‘the document was signed by my partner, my client and myself.’ Argh! That drives me nuts.”
“Misusing ‘myself’ exposes the writer as sloppy, careless or illiterate,” my friend went on. “What’s so difficult about using the correct word - ‘me?’”
The short answer: “me” scares people. It seems too simple to be correct. It’s too unassuming and informal. Plus it sounds far less learned than “myself.”
Keeping Myself in My Proper Place
Here, then, is a quick summary of how to keep me, myself and I straight.
- “I” is a first person singular pronoun that is used as the subject of a sentence or clause. (Example: I write the songs.)
- “Me” is used as an object. (Ex: The songs are written by me.)
- “Myself” is a reflexive pronoun used when you are the object of your own action – i.e., when “you” are doing something to “you.” (Ex: I could write the songs myself, but they sound better when they are written by Barry Manilow and me.) Other reflexive pronouns are herself, himself, yourself, itself and themselves.
Confusion creeps in because although “me” is an object pronoun (Ex: Barry Manilow hates me), “myself” usually occupies an object position as well. (Ex: I hate myself when Barry Manilow doesn’t like my songs.)
Notice, though, that in the first example, the subject (Barry Manilow) and object (me) are different. Thus, the object pronoun is correct. In the second example, the subject (I) and object (myself) are the same.
“Think about looking in a mirror and seeing your reflection,” writes the Grammar Girl. “You’d say, ‘I see myself in the mirror.’ You see your reflection. ‘Myself’ is a reflexive pronoun.”
You can also use reflexive pronouns like “myself” to add emphasis to a sentence. Used this way, they are sometimes called emphatic or intensive pronouns. (Ex: I myself heard the gunshots. I wrote the brief all by myself.)
Other Grammatical Pet Peeves
Here are some other maddening mainstream malaprops:
- Using “okay,” “um,” and “you know” as filler words. (Ex: Okay, I want to, um, make an objection. You know?)
- Using “go” is a synonym for “say.” (Ex: Then I go, Objection!)
- Using “amazing” instead of “excellent.” (Ex: Your objection was amazing.)
- Starting all sentences with “So.” (Ex: So there I was in court making this amazing objection.)
- Using “like” for no good reason. (Ex: I was, like, making an objection.)
What are some common word uses – or misuses – that get your goat? Perhaps tired clichés like “get your goat?”
No worries. With patience, proofreading and a copy of Strunk and White’s “Elements of Style,” you can keep your language fresh, lively and accurate. You will also make your malpractice defense counsel happy.
Jay Reeves a/k/a The Risk Man is an attorney licensed in North Carolina and South Carolina. Formerly he was Legal Editor at Lawyers Weekly and Risk Manager at Lawyers Mutual. Contact jay.reeves@ymail.com.
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FAQs
To avoid such confusion, remember the following: "Me" always functions as the object; "I" is always the subject. You can only use "myself" when you've referred to yourself earlier in the sentence. It's called a reflexive pronoun — it corresponds to a pronoun previously in the sentence.
What is the difference between me myself and I? ›
"Me" is an object pronoun used when someone or something is receiving an action. "I" is a subject pronoun used when someone is doing an action. "Myself" is a reflexive pronoun used when the subject of the sentence is also the object, emphasizing that the action reflects back on the subject.
What does it mean when someone says me myself and I? ›
What statement are they trying to make? According to YourDictionary, "me, myself, and I" implies "Only me, me alone, me without companionship." Fair enough; that makes some sense. Wiktionary agrees that "me, myself, and I" emphasizes the speaker's aloneness, i.e., only me; myself alone.
What is an example of me vs myself? ›
You should use "myself" and not "me" as the object, only when you are the subject of the sentence. Example: I could not dress myself. Correct: You are asked to contact the provost or me. Incorrect: You are asked to contact the provost or myself.
What are the rules for me myself and I? ›
The rules themselves are simple: “I” is a subject pronoun, “me” is an object pronoun and “myself” is a reflexive pronoun. Use the subject pronoun “I” when the speaker is performing the action. Use the object pronoun “me” when the speaker is receiving the action. Use “myself” when the subject and object are the same.
Is me myself and I the same person? ›
Me, myself and I are all first person singular pronouns that refer to the same person (you), but which word you choose depends on the context of the sentence. Remember, the basic design of a sentence is subject + verb + direct object. Subject: When you are the subject performing the action, use “I.”
What is the opposite of me myself and I? ›
So you, yourself, and you. This is also the case in the third person "thing": it, itself, and it. For the others it would be him, himself, he; her, herself, she; ECT.
Where did the phrase me myself and I come from? ›
It was first recorded in 1937 by several artists including Billie Holiday and Her Orchestra, Benny Goodman and His Orchestra, Bob Howard and His Orchestra, and Dick Jurgens and His Orchestra with vocalist Eddy Howard.
What do you mean by myself? ›
: the one that is I. used for emphasis or to show that the subject and object of the verb are the same. I'll go myself. I'm going to get myself a new hobby.
What does me vs me mean? ›
“Me vs Me – it's in the title – it touches upon different versions of yourself and maybe how you can have a battle within yourself, of maybe, different sides of your personality. That, maybe more, down or sad side with that more excited side, or just two…
According to him, 'I' is the one who knows how something feels; 'Me' is that feeling itself. I know I am hurt when I am cheated; I (i.e., 'Me' or my social self) get hurt because I have learned (from society) that when cheated, one must feel hurt. Thus - 'I' is the self as subject; 'Me' is the self as object.
Is it John and me or John and myself? ›
You should never use myself and John or John and myself. Both phrases are grammatically incorrect. Instead, use John and me if the speaker is the object of the sentence, and use John and I if the speaker is the subject of the sentence.
Should I use me or myself? ›
Knowing when to use me, myself or I is a source of confusion for native and non-native English speakers alike. To avoid such confusion, remember the following: "Me" always functions as the object; "I" is always the subject. You can only use "myself" when you've referred to yourself earlier in the sentence.
Is it reach out to me or myself? ›
When in doubt, take the other person out of the sentence. You wouldn't make the mistake of saying, “Please reach out to myself with any concerns.” You'd say, "Please reach out to me with any concerns."
Can we use I and myself together? ›
Yes, we use the reflexive pronoun “myself” in this case where we want to add emphasis: “The group believes that kind of behavior is acceptable. I myself believe it is a mistake to act that way.” Here I am emphasizing that this is my opinion, even though others may feel differently.
Do you say John and I or John and myself? ›
You should never use myself and John or John and myself. Both phrases are grammatically incorrect. Instead, use John and me if the speaker is the object of the sentence, and use John and I if the speaker is the subject of the sentence.
What is the rule for using I or me in a sentence? ›
Use the pronoun "I" when the person speaking is doing the action, either alone or with someone else. Use the pronoun "me" when the person speaking is receiving the action of the verb in some way, either directly or indirectly.
Is it happy birthday to me or myself? ›
This is what I remember from elementary school in the late 1950s and early 1960s. English teachers, please correct me if I have any of this wrong. If you are just saying”Happy Birthday to me,” it's me. Myself is a reflexive pronoun which means that it reflects back to the subject of the sentence.
There are a couple of ways to go when you get an email from a malpractice claims counsel that opens chillingly: “This concerns a matter of extreme urgency that is causing me great distress.”