It is said that the Eskimo language contains over 100 words for snow. (Now as it turns out this, is not the case but for the purposes of this article, let’s assume it is.) Us Irish have, along with alcohol and cholesterol, rain in our blood.
It has soaked and shaped us as a nation for millennia and as a result, we have a near mystical relationship with precipitation. We also love using 43 words when one will do so it’s fair to say we have our own way of describing the old cloud juice in its many guises.
For the rotten day that's in it here are our own personal favourites.
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Our native skin, whilst not best evolved for the mercurial sun, IS incredibly adept at distinguishing and analysing the potential impact of rainfall. As Morrissey has never sung ‘some rain is wetter than others’. A minute in wet rain will leave you looking like you actually live in the sea.
Wet rain is the Morrissey of rain.
Often met with disdainful derision, a shower is just a tedious inconvenience that talks a big game, hitting you and f*cking off again just as quick.
Showers are the Conor McGregor of rain.
Often an entire conversation in just two words, this gloriously vague expression can cover any meteorological event. There is often nothing to add so one of you will have to simply walk away.
The soft day is the Daniel O’Donnell of rain.
Nobody does a bitta drizzle like Ireland. The most devious of rains, you will look out the window and scarcely see it and you’re outside and utterly soaked before you know you’ve been drizzled. That said, it is responsible for this amazing joke...
(snoop etc)
Drizzle is the Keith Barry of rain.
We’re getting serious now. Proper rain doesn’t just fall down and let gravity do all the work. No, sideways rain will come at you like it was shout from a rain canon, make an utter fool of your umbrella and wins every...single...time.
Sideways rain is the Bruce Lee of rain.
This lad doesn’t know what he’s at. Often met with the beautifully Irish ‘Sure it’s trying to rain’, spitting rain serves no obvious purpose and is just there to be seen.
Spitting rain is the Kardashian of rain.
Possibly the worst of the lot! Freezing rain is a double barrel threat. It brings with it a hard cold wind that freezes the water and makes you feel like it actually hates you because it does. It hates us all.
Wet rain is the Darth Vader of rain.
Aka Bucketing/P***ing, this is up there with sideways. This rain means business and that business is to make you, your friends, your family, your dog and your entire near future sopping wet. It doesn’t muck about with drizzling or spitting, it is here to mess...you...up.
Lashing rain is the Roy Keane of rain.
Not content with soaking you right down to your kidneys, rain can also come with the added benefit of actually being painful. On a particularly rainy day, the drops can hit you like little bullet needles and the rain pain is real! It is in your face and relentless!
Sore Rain is the Davy Fitz of rain.
