Borderline personality disorder - Symptoms and causes (2024)

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Overview

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.

If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.

Symptoms

Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.

Signs and symptoms may include:

  • An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
  • A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel
  • Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all
  • Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
  • Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
  • Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
  • Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
  • Ongoing feelings of emptiness
  • Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights

When to see a doctor

If you're aware that you have any of the signs or symptoms above, talk to your doctor or a mental health provider.

If you have suicidal thoughts

If you have fantasies or mental images about hurting yourself or have other suicidal thoughts, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

  • Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
  • Contact a suicide hotline. In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat. Services are free and confidential.
  • Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
  • Reach out to a loved one, close friend, trusted peer or co-worker.
  • Contact someone from your faith community.

If you notice signs or symptoms in a family member or friend, talk to that person about seeing a doctor or mental health provider. But you can't force someone to seek help. If the relationship causes you significant stress, you may find it helpful to see a therapist yourself.

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Causes

As with other mental health disorders, the causes of borderline personality disorder aren't fully understood. In addition to environmental factors — such as a history of child abuse or neglect — borderline personality disorder may be linked to:

  • Genetics. Some studies of twins and families suggest that personality disorders may be inherited or strongly associated with other mental health disorders among family members.
  • Brain abnormalities. Some research has shown changes in certain areas of the brain involved in emotion regulation, impulsivity and aggression. In addition, certain brain chemicals that help regulate mood, such as serotonin, may not function properly.

Risk factors

Some factors related to personality development can increase the risk of developing borderline personality disorder. These include:

  • Hereditary predisposition. You may be at a higher risk if a close relative — your mother, father, brother or sister — has the same or a similar disorder.
  • Stressful childhood. Many people with the disorder report being sexually or physically abused or neglected during childhood. Some people have lost or were separated from a parent or close caregiver when they were young or had parents or caregivers with substance misuse or other mental health issues. Others have been exposed to hostile conflict and unstable family relationships.

Complications

Borderline personality disorder can damage many areas of your life. It can negatively affect intimate relationships, jobs, school, social activities and self-image, resulting in:

  • Repeated job changes or losses
  • Not completing an education
  • Multiple legal issues, such as jail time
  • Conflict-filled relationships, marital stress or divorce
  • Self-injury, such as cutting or burning, and frequent hospitalizations
  • Involvement in abusive relationships
  • Unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, motor vehicle accidents and physical fights due to impulsive and risky behavior
  • Attempted or completed suicide

In addition, you may have other mental health disorders, such as:

  • Depression
  • Alcohol or other substance misuse
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Eating disorders
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
  • Other personality disorders

By Mayo Clinic Staff

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Dec. 13, 2022

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  1. Borderline personality disorder. In: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5. 5th ed. Arlington, Va.: American Psychiatric Association; 2013. https://dsm.psychiatryonline.org. Accessed May 8, 2018.
  2. Borderline personality disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml. Accessed May 8, 2018.
  3. Skodol A. Borderline personality disorder: Epidemiology, clinical features, course, assessment, and diagnosis. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed May 8, 2018.
  4. Skodol A. Treatment of borderline personality disorder. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed May 8, 2018.
  5. Newlin E, et al. Personality disorders. Continuum: Lifelong Learning in Neurology. 2015;21:806.
  6. Borderline personality disorder. National Alliance on Mental Illness. https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Borderline-Personality-Disorder/Overview. Accessed May 8, 2018.
  7. Starcevic V, et al. Pharmacotherapy of borderline personality disorder: Replacing confusion with prudent pragmatism. Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 2018;31:69.
  8. Veterans Crisis Line. U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/. Accessed May 10, 2018.
  9. Palmer BA (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. June 1, 2018.
  10. National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices. Systems training for emotional predictability and problem solving (STEPPS). Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. https://nrepp.samhsa.gov/Legacy/ViewIntervention.aspx?id=243. Accessed May 10, 2018.

Borderline personality disorder

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Borderline personality disorder - Symptoms and causes (2024)

FAQs

Borderline personality disorder - Symptoms and causes? ›

Environmental, cultural, and social factors: Many people with borderline personality disorder report experiencing traumatic life events, such as abuse, abandonment, or hardship during childhood. Others may have been exposed to unstable, invalidating relationships or conflicts.

What is the main cause of borderline personality disorder? ›

Environmental, cultural, and social factors: Many people with borderline personality disorder report experiencing traumatic life events, such as abuse, abandonment, or hardship during childhood. Others may have been exposed to unstable, invalidating relationships or conflicts.

How to explain what BPD feels like? ›

BPD is characterized by intense, unstable emotions and relationships as well as insecurity and self-doubt. BPD makes everything about a person feel unstable, ranging from moods, thinking, behavior, relationships, and sometimes identity.

What triggers a BPD episode? ›

While triggers will vary from person to person, these are some common ones:
  • Perceived or real abandonment.
  • Rejection of any kind.
  • Loss of a job.
  • Locations that invoke negative memories.
  • Reminders of traumatic events.
  • Ending a relationship.
May 27, 2018

What are the struggles of borderline personality disorder? ›

It may also be called emotionally unstable personality disorder. People with BPD have unstable moods and can act recklessly. They also have a hard time managing their emotions. If you have BPD, you may have problems with daily tasks, obligations, and life events.

What is the biggest symptom of borderline personality disorder? ›

A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance misuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.

What are BPD eyes? ›

The term "empty eyes" is frequently used to describe an observable characteristic in individuals with BPD. This is not a medically accepted term but a colloquial phrase utilized to depict the void or absence of emotional depth often perceived in the eyes of those suffering from this disorder.

What does a BPD meltdown look like? ›

BPD Meltdown

These episodes involve intense emotional reactions that can be triggered by stress, rejection, or perceived abandonment. During a meltdown, people may experience extreme mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty calming down.

Do borderlines know they hurt you? ›

Most borderlines, until and unless they have substantial and successful therapy are not consciously aware of what I am describing here. Some are totally oblivious to their behavior. Some see their behavior as a means to an end and take little to no responsibility for it or any of its consequences.

What does high functioning BPD look like? ›

People with high-functioning BPD experience frequent negative thoughts, fear of rejection, and regret about expressing their feelings. Individuals with quiet BPD may oscillate between clinging to people around them in need of validation and them pushing them away to avoid criticism.

What not to do to someone with BPD? ›

Don't…
  1. Make threats and ultimatums that you can't carry out. As is human nature, your loved one will inevitably test the limits you set. ...
  2. Tolerate abusive behavior. No one should have to put up with verbal abuse or physical violence. ...
  3. Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
Feb 5, 2024

Does BPD get worse with age? ›

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition is most serious in young adulthood. Mood swings, anger and impulsiveness often get better with age. But the main issues of self-image and fear of being abandoned, as well as relationship issues, go on.

How to calm down someone with BPD? ›

Provide distractions. Sometimes helping to distract someone from difficult feelings can be really useful. Try suggesting activities or tasks, such as watching a film or tidying up. Or you could start something and let them know they're welcome to join in when they feel ready.

What are the psychotic symptoms of BPD? ›

Auditory hallucinations and paranoid delusions seem to be the most common psychotic symptoms in patients with BPD. Much effort has been made to better distinguish between psychotic symptoms in BPD and those that occur in psychotic disorders, most notably schizophrenia.

How to tell if someone has BPD? ›

Symptoms - Borderline personality disorder
  1. emotional instability – the psychological term for this is "affective dysregulation"
  2. disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – "cognitive distortions" or "perceptual distortions"
  3. impulsive behaviour.
  4. intense but unstable relationships with others.

What does BPD look like in females? ›

A person with BPD may also be aggressive, hurt themself, and abuse drugs or alcohol. Her self-identity, which may include long-term goals, career plans or jobs, friendships, relationships with loved ones, or values, is not stable over time and often changes.

Is BPD inherited from mother or father? ›

Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.

What is the hardest mental illness to live with? ›

Not only is BPD one of the most painful mental illnesses, but it's also intensified by stigma and being misunderstood by others. Fortunately, borderline personality disorder is a treatable condition, and the pain doesn't have to be endless.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love? ›

Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.

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