McLean Videos | Courtney Cook Is Living Her Life With BPD (2024)

Available with English captions and subtitles in Spanish.

Courtney Cook showed every classic symptom of borderline personality disorder as a child—but wasn’t diagnosed until years later because many believed she’d “grow out of it.” She’s not alone in this experience—many other people in the United States with BPD feel as if their experience with the condition is misunderstood, which can impact and influence the way that people with BPD are treated.

When it felt like there was a whirlwind of hospitalizations, treatments, therapies, and moments of comfort in Courtney’s life, she put pen to paper. From this she coined her illustrated memoir, “The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces,” where she shares highs, lows, triumphs, and challenges of navigating BPD, as well as how to speak candidly about the condition with those around her.

Audience Questions

Courtney discusses her memoir as she shares her experiences navigating the condition both in and out of doctor’s offices, provides insights into how to face difficult moments before and after treatment, and answers audience questions about her life with BPD.

  • Can you tell us a little about yourself as well as your journey of getting diagnosed with BPD?
  • What can we all expect to learn from “The Way She Feels”?
  • How does your story serve as a contrast to the existing material that, unintentionally or otherwise, lends itself to “demonizing” members of the borderline community?
  • Can you talk a little about the parallels you’ve experienced between disclosure and discomfort, and how they’ve helped shape your future goals/endeavors?
  • As a writer with BPD, I find my inner critic and emotional dysregulation gets in the way of my writing. Have you dealt with this, and if so, do you have any suggestions?
  • Do you think that there’s any relationship between your difficulty expressing your feelings of emptiness and “being different,” and growing up in a town that had such a perfectly groomed exterior?
  • Do you have any words of wisdom for others to embrace their diagnoses and difficulties?
  • How did you cope with the thoughts that your emotions are not valid? Do you have advice for dealing with self-doubt and emotional validation?
  • Do you have examples of things your family members have done to support you that have been impactful and helpful?
  • What advice do you have for parents of a young person with BPD in motivating them to ask for help?
  • Have you found that your symptoms have improved with age?
  • Can you speak to the value of writing to gain a deeper level of personal insight?
  • Do you have advice for folks listening about how they can discover their own degree of feeling unstoppable?

Resources

You may also find this information useful:

About Courtney Cook, MFA

Courtney Cook is author and illustrator of the Kirkus starred graphic memoir “The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces,” which debuted as an Amazon #1 New Release and was selected as a July 2021 Indie Next Pick. Courtney received her BA from the University of Michigan and MFA from the University of California, Riverside. Her writing has been published by outlets such as TIME, The Guardian, The Rumpus, Hobart, Lunch Ticket, and Split Lip Magazine.

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McLean Videos | Courtney Cook Is Living Her Life With BPD (2024)

FAQs

Can you live a normal life with BPD? ›

Intense emotional pain and feelings of emptiness, desperation, anger, hopelessness, and loneliness are common. These symptoms can affect every part of your life. Despite the challenges, many people with BPD learn how to cope with the symptoms so they can live fulfilling lives.

What is the quote about living with BPD? ›

Living with Borderline Quotes

Life is too short to worry about what others say or think about you. So just enjoy life. have fun, and give them something to talk about.” "She didn't need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated, for exactly who she was."

How can I make living with BPD easier? ›

How can I help myself in the longer term?
  1. Talk to someone.
  2. Keep a mood diary.
  3. Plan for difficult times.
  4. Make a self-care box.
  5. Try peer support.
  6. Focus on what matters to you.
  7. Look after your physical health.
  8. Find specialist support for contributing factors.

How do I stop BPD thoughts? ›

Identify and engage in things that help me:
  1. Express/respond to my intense emotions.
  2. Distract myself.
  3. Distract by contact with other people.
  4. Comfort/take care of myself.
  5. Ground myself and focus.
  6. Stay focused.
  7. Relax/become calm (Suggested apps: In Hand and Breathe2Relax).

Why is BPD the hardest mental illness to live with? ›

A person with borderline personality disorder is often unable to trust their own feelings or reactions. Lacking a strong sense of self leads to a sense of emptiness and sometimes a sense of being non-existent, which is another reason BPD hurts so much.

Can a person with BPD ever be happy? ›

Anyone with borderline personality disorder who wants to tackle happiness has to deal with the symptoms of our illness that tend to make us so inherently unhappy. This isn't easy, but I think it's dishonest to suggest that it's impossible.

Are people with BPD worth loving? ›

But maybe being with someone with BPD is not all bad. Many people with borderline personality disorder are intuitive, empathetic, passionate, spontaneous, resilient, creative, curious, intense, intelligent, and courageous. When not triggered, they can love deeply and commit to their partner and family.

Can BPD sufferers love? ›

It's a mental health condition, and it can be managed. Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love? Absolutely! They may just have a hard time expressing it or establishing some stability in their relationships.

Why is it so hard to love with BPD? ›

Having safety concerns: People with BPD often struggle with impulsive or self-destructive behavior. They might threaten suicide, for example, if you leave the relationship. These intense concerns may cause loved ones to feel hopeless or even trapped in challenging dynamics.

What makes BPD worse? ›

Anything that causes someone to feel rejected or abandoned could be a trigger. While these fears are especially common in romantic relationships, any real (or perceived, for that matter) abandonment could escalate BPD symptoms. Breakups, canceled plans, or losing a job can all be triggering.

How do I keep my BPD happy? ›

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.

What is the best job for someone with BPD? ›

Many people with BPD feel emotions deeply and find working in a caring role fulfilling. If you are an empathetic person, consider jobs such as teaching, childcare, nursing and animal care.

Is overthinking a BPD? ›

Overthinking is a common symptom of BPD, characterized by intense and unstable emotions, impulsiveness, and a distorted sense of self-identity. People with BPD often experience intense emotions and struggle to regulate them effectively.

What are the strange thoughts of BPD? ›

Disturbed patterns of thinking

Different types of thoughts can affect people with BPD, including: upsetting thoughts – such as thinking you're a terrible person or feeling you do not exist. You may not be sure of these thoughts and may seek reassurance that they're not true.

Can someone with BPD ever be stable? ›

Treatment, along with a strong support network, can help you find stability in your emotional state and in your relationships. Treatment won't cure BPD, but these options can help you learn to cope with the symptoms and react in ways that aren't as harmful to you or your partner.

Does BPD affect your lifespan? ›

Patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are at high risk for early death from suicide and other causes, according to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.

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