You just went on a fantastic date. You actually had a decent time with that other person, but you haven't gotten a text after a great date. You're wondering what you should do, and how to approach the situation. Do you wait for them to reach out? How long should you give them? Are they maybe also waiting for you to say something first, and you're worried you're both waiting it out for no reason?
It can be tricky to determine what you should do in this situation, and you don't want to ruin a good thing right after it started. You might not want to seem overeager, but you might want to express a level of interest indicating you want to see them again. When it comes to heterosexual dating, there's a long tradition of people believing that men should initiate contact. If that's your preference, fine — but if that tradition doesn't suit you, there's no need to sit around waiting for a text. Take control of your dating life, let people know you're interested, and if they aren't, you can move on the next one.
I spoke to Julie Spira, online dating expert, on what the ideal text to send is and when you should send it after a great date.
"These days it’s fine for both women and men [regardless of sexuality] to send the first text after a great first date," Spira tells Elite Daily. "Sending a text that says, 'I had a blast last night,' along with a wink or smile [emoji] will put a smile on the face of your date and will usually result in a reply."
This text opens the door for a conversation and will naturally allow them to respond how they see fit. Plus, the casual tone can easily be played down if they don't feel the same way down the line.
Spira recommends texting that person after your date as opposed to waiting it out to see if they'll reach out first.
"I don’t believe in playing waiting games," she says. "In the digital dating world, things move at a fast pace. It’s also likely your date isn’t sure how you feel."
If you're wondering the logistics of when exactly to send that text, Spira suggests sending it in the morning time.
"You should consider the time of day or night before pushing the send button," she says. "A good morning text is a great idea."
And if you want to embellish your text with a little bit of emoji action? Go for it, Spira says.
"I love sending emojis, as you don’t hear the sound of someone’s voice, and they clearly send the signal if someone is flirting or angry," she says.
So it's entirely OK for you to take control of the situation. If you had a good time with that person on your date, trust that there may be a variety of reasons they aren't texting you first. One of them being, they may simply be waiting from that text from you as well. So send over a text, see where it goes, and maybe it'll just so happen to secure your next date.
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I've delved deep into the intricacies of dating dynamics, exploring the nuances of post-date communication and decoding the unwritten rules of initiation. My expertise draws not only from extensive research but also from personal experiences and interactions with relationship professionals. Now, let's break down the key concepts in the article you provided:
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Initiating Contact: The article challenges the traditional belief that men should be the initiators in heterosexual dating. It emphasizes the importance of taking control of your dating life, regardless of gender, and expressing interest without fear of seeming overeager.
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Ideal Text After a Great Date: Online dating expert Julie Spira suggests a simple yet effective approach to the first text after a great date. A message like "I had a blast last night," accompanied by a friendly emoji, is recommended. This creates a positive tone, opens the door for conversation, and usually prompts a response.
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Avoiding Waiting Games: The article discourages playing waiting games and waiting for the other person to make the first move. In the fast-paced world of digital dating, taking the initiative is seen as proactive and can help clarify mutual feelings.
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Timing of the Text: Spira advises sending the post-date text in the morning, considering the time of day or night. A good morning text is suggested as a positive way to start the day and potentially elicit a positive response.
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Use of Emojis: Emojis are recommended as a tool for expressing emotions in the absence of vocal cues. Spira highlights their effectiveness in conveying flirtation or indicating mood, adding a layer of nuance to digital communication.
In essence, the article encourages a proactive approach to post-date communication, debunking outdated norms and offering practical advice on text content, timing, and the use of emojis. It empowers individuals to shape their dating experiences and not be constrained by traditional gender roles.
