Is The Three Day Rule Still A Thing With Online Dating? (2024)

Wondering if you should still follow the three day rule? Well, let’s start at the beginning…

Have you ever asked your parents for relationship advice?

If the answer is ‘no’, I’m not surprised. Chances are, the dating norms of your parents’ days were completely different from the dating world you’re part of now.

Your mother would probably never dare to meet a gentleman from the internet, and your father might be appalled at Bumble’s insistence on women making the first move.

Because dating has changed so much in the last ten, and even in the last five years, it can be difficult to know which dating rules still apply.

Of course, in an ideal world, we wouldn’t have to overthink any rules and we could simply be ourselves and tell someone when we like them. But, that’s easier said than done.

The three day rule is a dating strategy that suggests waiting three days to call your date after you go out. The theory is that waiting three days makes you look less eager and/or desperate, and gives your date time to realize how much they liked you when they think you might not contact them.

Essentially, the three day rule is all about playing hard to get. But, is it still relevant in today’s instantaneous dating landscape?

Is the three day rule still relevant?

In a simple word, no.

The speed of dating has changed

Dating apps, texting, and other technological advances have made dating quicker and easier than ever.

There was once a time where you wouldn’t dream of seeing a new dating partner more than once in a week. Nowadays, some people go out with a Tinder match that they swiped on just hours ago. If things go well, they may spend the whole weekend in bed together.

Will waiting three days ruin your chances?

While waiting three days to call (or more likely, text) your date may not completely ruin your chances, there’s also a good chance that your date may write you off as being wishy-washy.

There’s also a chance that in those three days, your date has matched and/or gone out with someone new that they’re putting their energy into instead.

Your date’s other matches are probably not waiting three days to message them back, so if you’ve already met them in person and liked them, why should you?

Even if your date isn’t chatting with tons of matches on their app of choice, there’s also a chance that they’re simply just busy. Studies have found that today’s teens and millennials are busier than ever.

Many single people not only have an active dating life, but they’re also likely busy with work, side hustles, a bustling social life, and potentially a recreational hobby like an intramural softball league or tantra training class.

Even if your date is still interested in going out after you wait three days, they might be booked for the next two weeks before they can see you again.

Many 20-somethings haven’t even heard of this rule

I’m going to be honest here and tell you that I actually didn’t know what the three day rule was when I first heard it, and I write about dating for a living.

Instead, I thought about the matchmaking service that goes by the same name. Then, I thought maybe the three day rule is similar to the three date rule, an unwritten rule that you should wait until the third date to have sex.

I’m in my late 20s, so the fact that I didn’t even know what this rule was is a pretty good indicator that it’s past its expiration date. In 2018, a writer for Elle asked her peers about the three day rule and two 26-year-olds also claimed they’d never heard of it. The writer, Chloe Hall, went on to officially proclaim the three day rule as “dead.”

What’s the new expectation for texting/calling after a first date?

I think many of my female peers will agree with me when I say that I expect a text from my date immediately after, or the morning after a dinner date. If he doesn’t send me that cliche, “I had a good time,” text, I assume he’s not going to.

And if he waits three days, I assume he’s playing games, which is not really something I’m interested in. Women interviewed by Men’s Health on this subject echoed my feelings: if he waits three days, they assume he’s playing games.

It’s also not uncommon in today’s dating world that you plan the next date while on the first date if things are going really well. Tripp Kramer, host of the podcast How to Talk to Girls, told Men’s Health that he suggests bringing up that you’d like to go out again while on the date, then texting within 2-3 days to officially plan the date.

For example, towards the end of the date you can say, “This was really fun, I would love to do this again sometime if you’re interested. Maybe we can go to that arcade you mentioned always wanting to visit.” If your date says yes, you can text them within a day or two something like, “Hey! Hope you’re having a good week. Wanna hit that arcade Thursday night?”

Just because you’re texting your date sooner doesn’t mean you have to chit-chat. Getting straight to the point makes it clear you’re interested and gives you time to bond IRL on the date rather than over text where things can get misinterpreted more easily.

The bottom line

While there’s no denying that playing hard to get and leaving a little mystery works at times, today’s singles are tired of playing games and can see through silly dating rules more quickly than our parents did. We’re also impatient and we like to get what we want with a click of a button.

Our advice – keep the mystery alive by not texting a new match every detail of your day and instead focus on making concrete plans as evidence that you definitely want to see them again and get to know them better.

Is The Three Day Rule Still A Thing With Online Dating? (2024)

FAQs

Is the 3 day rule still a thing? ›

The three day rule still exists. After a first or second date, some men wait three days before calling or even texting you. This is because they don't want to appear over eager. Here's what happened to one woman who was insulted by this typical timing.

How long is too long to meet someone online? ›

It's better to meet up sooner rather than later, says dating expert for Match Hayley Quinn. One to two weeks is the optimum about of time, according to Quinn, as it gives you time to get to know them, but not too much time that you overthink or the spark fizzles.

How long should you give online dating a chance? ›

He suggests not drawing out the pre-face-to-face meeting for too long. Chaudhry says his research suggests keeping online, pre-meeting exchanges to two weeks or shorter. And actually make an effort to get to know someone.

What is the 3 day text back rule? ›

Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.

Why do guys wait 3 days to text? ›

Why do guys wait days to text? Guys think waiting makes them sound less desperate, so they may feel more comfortable texting you at that point. While it can be really tough waiting for a response, give him a couple of days to follow up or just send him a message first.

How long should a guy go without texting you? ›

Give it a few days (or even a week).

It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing.

What are the red flags for online dating? ›

Be on the lookout for these red flags when online dating:
  • An incredibly vague or incomplete profile. ...
  • Sending sexually-explicit messages right away. ...
  • Becoming irritated by the lack of haste in your reply and/or over-messaging. ...
  • Not respecting your digital boundaries. ...
  • “Don't swipe right if you…”

How do you know if a guy is playing you online? ›

How to Spot a Player (Online and Off)
  • He comes on strong. ...
  • He says he's “open” to a relationship. ...
  • He makes sex jokes early. ...
  • He only texts you late at night. ...
  • He doesn't ask personal questions. ...
  • He asks for sexy pics. ...
  • He gives over-the-top compliments. ...
  • He won't introduce you to his friends.
May 31, 2018

How do you know if a guy you met online is serious? ›

Here are some signs your online match could turn into a great partner.
  • You're passionate about the same things. ...
  • They listen and remember things you tell them. ...
  • You feel at ease when talking to your online match. ...
  • They don't pull a disappearing act. ...
  • They already find ways to encourage you.
Oct 29, 2018

How many times a week should you see someone you started dating? ›

Locking in a date a week is a good benchmark to aim for to be sure you're giving enough time to the relationship, without meeting up so little that the connection fizzles out.” Of course, when you're in those early stages of infatuation, it can be tempting to want to see someone you are dating as often as possible.

What should you not do online dating? ›

When Connecting Online
  • Use different photos for your dating profile. ...
  • Avoid connecting with suspicious profiles. ...
  • Check out your potential date on social media. ...
  • Block and report suspicious users. ...
  • Wait to Share Personal Information. ...
  • Don't Respond to Requests for Financial Help. ...
  • Video chat before you meet up in person.

At what point does dating become serious? ›

In the most basic sense, a serious relationship is one in which you're completely committed to your partner; you're totally open and honest with one another; you trust each other deeply; and you're on the same page, not only in terms of your values and ethics but about your future together as well.

How long is too long to not text back? ›

Reply within 30–60 minutes to play it a little cool.

While it's okay to reply later if you're actually busy, purposefully waiting to text somebody might feel disrespectful if you're available. If you had to make the person wait for more than an hour, offer them an apology and explain what kept you from messaging them.

How long is it appropriate to not respond to a text? ›

According to their study messaging etiquette says waiting more than 20 minutes to respond can be seen as rude.

Can you break up by text after 3 dates? ›

While a long-term partner deserves a meet-up or at least a Skype call (when you can't make it personally), if you've been on one, two, or a few dates with someone and the relationship status isn't defined, you can end things via text but make sure you do it kindly.

Should I worry if he hasn't texted me in 2 days? ›

If it has been less than a couple of days then try to not let his lack of contact bother you. There is a good chance he is busy and this is nothing to worry about. Get home from work, put your phone on aeroplane mode and avoid checking your WhatsApp status or social media activity.

How often will a guy text you if he is interested? ›

Some guys are more talkative than others. Still, a few text messages a day are proof that he likes you. You should look for three to five messages a day, unless you strike up a conversation, then look for more. The most important thing to look out for is whether or not it seems like you're on his mind.

Do guys like fast replies? ›

Out of 132 people who participated, 89% (118 people) voted that texting back quickly is a TURN-ON and 11% (14 people) voted TURN-OFF. One voter let me know she tapped “off” by accident so these results are slightly skewed, but still—the results are clearly in favor of texting back fast being a turn on.

Why do guys go days without texting? ›

Key Takeaways. If a guy does not text you back immediately, there might be valid reasons like preoccupation with work, wanting some space, or being just not into you. When he does not text you back, do not bombard him with texts. Focus on yourself and go out and enjoy yourself with your friends.

Do men care when you stop texting? ›

Whether a guy notices you've stopped texting him can also depend on how he feels about you. Even if you haven't discussed the nature of your relationship, but he can feel something brewing, he'll notice when you stop texting him.

Would a player text you everyday? ›

Is a player likely to text you every day? Most players won't text you every day. Players typically don't invest a ton of time into chasing someone—they've got too many girls to go after. Also, a player will usually have enough confidence to ask you out relatively quickly.

What does GGG mean dating? ›

Popularized on dating apps, "GGG" stands for "good, giving, and game." It was reportedly created by sex columnist Dan Savage as a way to parse out qualities that make a good sex partner.

What is the biggest red flag in a guy? ›

13 red flags in a relationship to look out for
  1. Overly controlling behavior. Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag. ...
  2. Lack of trust. ...
  3. Feeling low self-esteem. ...
  4. Physical, emotional, or mental abuse. ...
  5. Substance abuse. ...
  6. Narcissism. ...
  7. Anger management issues. ...
  8. Codependency.
Feb 1, 2022

How do you tell if a guy wants a relationship or just a hookup? ›

Make sure to watch out for these signs!
  1. He never brings you to meet his family or friends. ...
  2. He only texts you. ...
  3. He doesn't make any plans that are in the future. ...
  4. He only compliments your looks and not your personality. ...
  5. He's open about his emotions and what he's going through– the good or the bad.
Mar 22, 2019

What do guys do when they like you online? ›

Giveaway signs a guy likes you – Through online chatting/ texting
  • He sends a lot of texts and flirty emojis. ...
  • He's curious and asks personal questions. ...
  • He compliments you often. ...
  • He is consistent and always respects your personal time. ...
  • He gives you a big welcoming smile or raises his brows.
May 14, 2021

How do you tell if a guy is turned on through text? ›

How Guys Text When They Like You
  1. He Texts Back Immediately.
  2. He Wishes You Weren't Just Texting.
  3. He Talks About Things You Both Would Be Doing If He Was There.
  4. He Lets You Know If He Can't Text Back Right Now.
  5. He Often Uses Flirty Emojis.
  6. He Likes Hearing Your Stories.
  7. He Wants To Know More About You.
  8. He Writes You Long Texts.
Jan 10, 2023

How do you test a guy if he's a player? ›

He's a player if he texts you at the last minute, controls when he sees you, and vanishes for long periods of time. A genuine guy will give you more freedom. He's not a player if he asks you on actual dates and wants you to meet his friends and family. A player will be mysterious and hide aspects of his personal life.

How do you tell if someone is serious about dating you? ›

7 Signs To Tell if a Guy Is Serious About You
  1. He Listens to You. If a guy is serious about you, he will really listen and he won't take anything you say for granted. ...
  2. He Makes Future Plans. ...
  3. He Checks Up on You. ...
  4. He Helps You with Any Problem. ...
  5. He Makes You a Priority. ...
  6. He Does Thoughtful Things. ...
  7. He Introduces You to His Friends.

How do you know if an online lover is real? ›

5 Warning Signs that Your Online Romance is Really a Scam
  • They want to text or email instead of using dating apps. ...
  • They fall for you immediately. ...
  • You haven't met them in person. ...
  • Speaking of money, they need some – really, who doesn't? ...
  • They ask you to do things on their behalf.
Jul 29, 2019

Can you fall in love online without meeting? ›

"It's possible to form a strong emotional connection, and even spiritual connection, to someone you've never met in real life — particularly now with things like FaceTime or Skype, it's also possible to feel a physical attraction to someone," she added.

What is Breadcrumbing in dating? ›

Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on.

How often to see a guy you just started dating? ›

He told Bravo TV, "It's important to stick to twice a week only so that you have plenty of time away from your new date to give your deepest feelings time to percolate up from your subconscious. "These deep feeling are important because they will help you see any issues or problems with your new love interest."

What is Breadcrumbing? ›

But have you heard about breadcrumbing? “In a relationship context, breadcrumbing refers to a person who gives you just enough 'crumbs' of attention or affection to give you hope and keep you on the hook — but not enough to make you feel comfortable or assured the relationship is going well,” explains Dr.

What are the unspoken rules of online dating? ›

9 Unwritten rules of digital dating
  • Use a realistic photo. ...
  • Allow for time to reply. ...
  • You don't have to reply. ...
  • Be specific in your bio, not obvious. ...
  • Meet up, or stop messaging. ...
  • Follow your gut. ...
  • Don't dish out your phone number too soon. ...
  • Be honest.
Dec 27, 2019

What not to say on a dating app? ›

5 Things You Should Never Put on a Dating Profile
  • What You're *Not* Looking For. Including criteria for who shouldn't swipe left or message you is just a real Debbie Downer move. ...
  • Anything Too Generic. ...
  • Sarcasm About Being on 'The Apps' ...
  • Lies (or Even Exaggerations) ...
  • *No Information*
Aug 5, 2021

Why do guys on dating apps ask for WhatsApp? ›

A common tactic of dating scammers is to ask you to talk on email, text or Whatsapp, in case the dating site or app gets wise to their scam.

How many dates to see if there is chemistry? ›

Three dates is a good rule of thumb.

This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.

What should you not do in early stages of dating? ›

The experts weigh in.
  • Coming on too strong. ...
  • Being too rigid in what you want. ...
  • Performing for them. ...
  • Not learning from past relationships. ...
  • Moving too fast. ...
  • Ignoring red flags. ...
  • Posting too much online. ...
  • Not establishing clear boundaries early on.
Nov 19, 2019

What defines a situationship? ›

A situationship is an uncommitted, undefined romantic relationship between two people—meaning that those in this type of relationship have not established what they are to each other. While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing.

Should I text again if no reply? ›

Give them the benefit of the doubt, both experts agree. If you wait seven days, without sending a double text, and your inbox is still at zero, you should take that as a sign too. No response is a response, Fields says.

Does not texting a guy back make him want you more? ›

Spacing out conversations instead of texting all the time can build attraction, especially when first meeting someone. Sending more than 1 followup will not only make you seem desperate, but could also annoy the other person if they don't want to talk.

How long is too long for a guy to text? ›

A week gives the person enough time to thoughtfully respond.

Even though it's a little old-fashioned, some people will wait 3 days after a date to text you back to make you miss them more. Waiting any longer than a week could be a sign they're not interested, and it might be best to let the conversation die out.

What is a normal text response time? ›

95% of texts will be read within 3 minutes of being sent

The average adult spends 23 hours a week texting so there's a pretty big chance the person you sent your text to will eventually reply. When it comes to messages between you and a potential love interest, things get a little trickier.

How long is too long for a girl to reply? ›

When you respond within a couple of hours, you prevent the conversation from totally going stale. If you leave a girl hanging for more than a few hours, it sends a signal that you're not interested. Don't be surprised if she doesn't text back if you wait more than 3 hours to respond.

What does a guy think after 3 dates? ›

If you've made a third date together, he probably likes you to some extent. Most men won't keep dating you if they aren't the least bit interested or if they think you're boring, rude, or just incompatible.

Is dating a 3 day rule? ›

Say, for example, the three-day rule. Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.

How much texting is too much between dates? ›

Text each other a few times a day until the next date. It's not necessary nor a rule to text every day. It's always a good idea to keep a little mystery in between dates as opposed to pouring everything out on text from what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner to when you walked your dog.

Do guys wait 3 days to call? ›

Some men will let just one day go by, but most guys will let two, possibly three, particularly if there was no overt connection made. Men will not put themselves out there so quickly if they think they may get squashed.

What is the 72 hour rule dating? ›

02/7​What is the 72-hour rule? This rule is simple. Whenever something tends to upset you or someone's actions or words infuriate you, wait for 72 hours before showing your emotions. In simpler words, hold back your immediate reaction and give yourself 72 hours before coming down to any conclusion.

What is the 3 day rule for house guests? ›

Lonely Planet co-founder Tony Wheeler was one of the first to offer a rule for house guests: “The oldest line is still the best – guests and fish begin to smell after three days. Or, like fish, guests should go off after three days.” There you have it – Rule #1: Three days max, even for family.

How much does three day rule dating cost? ›

How much does Three Day Rule cost? The cost of Three Day Rule varies by city and contract length (e.g. a 3, or 6-month term), but customers online say they paid between $5,000 and $18,500. The six-month contract is the most popular, costing upwards of $9,000, guaranteeing six vetted matches.

Why do guys not text for a few days? ›

Key Takeaways. If a guy does not text you back immediately, there might be valid reasons like preoccupation with work, wanting some space, or being just not into you. When he does not text you back, do not bombard him with texts. Focus on yourself and go out and enjoy yourself with your friends.

Do guys wait for your text? ›

Yes, guys sometimes wait for you to text first.

Remember that every guy is different. While some guys like to make the first move, others are a bit shy. Don't be afraid to make the first move! Pay attention to how the guy acts around you.

What is the rule of 7 for dating? ›

The rule suggests the younger person in a relationship should be older than half the older person's age plus seven years in order for the relationship to be socially acceptable. For example, the youngest a 26-year-old person should date is 20. The beginnings of the rule are murky.

What is the 3/4 rule in dating? ›

Called the "3-4 rule," Nobile's method requires that singles learn four key principles about their prospect by the end of the third date. Those tenets are chemistry, core values, emotional maturity, and readiness. According to Nobile, this method allows daters to assess chemistry and long-term compatibility.

How many days a week should you see someone you are dating? ›

Locking in a date a week is a good benchmark to aim for to be sure you're giving enough time to the relationship, without meeting up so little that the connection fizzles out.” Of course, when you're in those early stages of infatuation, it can be tempting to want to see someone you are dating as often as possible.

How long is too long for a guest to stay? ›

Anything over a week will be too exhausting and stressful for everyone — host and guest. It is best to minimize the disruption of everyone's lives." Although three days and two nights is the ideal visit, Hokemeyer admits that when guests are coming from a great distance, the stay may have to be extended.

How long is overstaying your welcome? ›

For anyone who wants to ensure that they are not overstaying their welcome, 49 percent of people think spending four days or more as a guest is too long. Guests seem to be mindful of this unspoken rule. When hosting others, 79 percent say their guests stay four nights or less.

What to do when guests stay too long? ›

No matter how long your guest is staying (but especially if it's on the long side), always leave time for you to relax alone in your own home.
...
  1. Ignore your guest(s). Stop being social, and give them as cold a shoulder as you can. ...
  2. Do something they don't like. ...
  3. Entertain someone else. ...
  4. Tell them to leave.
Dec 11, 2020

Is 3 Dates enough for a relationship? ›

While waiting three dates or more to become intimate has been a popular guideline in the past, the best way to decide when you're ready to take this step is by doing what you feel is right. You may feel comfortable having sex after the first or second date, or you might want to wait ten or more dates before having sex.

What is the best matchmaking service? ›

Cost: Free to Low-cost
  • OkCupid – Worth it for people looking for a personality-based dating experience.
  • Tinder – Worth it for people looking for hookups and casual dating.
  • Grindr – Worth it for people looking for LGBTQIA+ hookups and casual dating.
  • Match – Worth it for professionals looking for long-term relationships.
Feb 25, 2022

What is the 48 hour rule in dating? ›

Use the 48-hour rule.

If your partner does something hurtful or that makes you angry, it's important to communicate it. If you aren't sure that you want to bring something up, try waiting 48 hours. If it's still bothering you, let them know.

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