First dates can be fun or can go downhill quickly. It depends on the flow of the events if you will.
The post-date thoughts are a thing, they’re real.
We all have them despite the flow of the events on that date.
Starting from “What now?” to “How was I so stupid to say that?” there are a lot of things that may cross his mind after your first date.
Depending on what type he is, he could be direct with his thoughts on the date, or he could just get lost in his head and overthink everything.
Well, we can’t read minds, but we surely can guess what he’s thinking and be accurate about it!
So, what is he thinking after a first date?
1. What next?
Pretty much everyone’s first reaction after a first date is “What next?” whether the date was fun or horrible.
It’s what a guy and it’s what anyone thinks after a first date.
Your guy makes no exception in this case. Whether he had a good time or not, he’ll be wondering what next at some point in his thought process.
– Do I text, call, or leave it here?
When he’s unsure, and the date went fine-ish, he’ll be kind of caught up between texting or simply letting the connection fade eventually without any contact.
He just doesn’t know what he wants. Again, this is for the ‘fine-ish’ dates.
– Did she like me or…?
Since most people on first dates are a bit reserved and don’t just throw up every single thought, it leaves a bit of room for mystery…
“Does she like me, is she into me, what if she’s not into me?” are just a few of the products that that type of mystery leaves in his head.
– He doesn’t give it much thought at all.
He questions himself a few things here and there, of course.
But if he’s generally the type of guy to be super chill about most things in life, then he’s more likely to not give it much thought at all.
In this case, he’s more direct about his expectations, the thoughts he has about the time you spent on your date, etc.
2. How did I do?
Ah, yes. Another golden post-first-date question most of us ask ourselves!
How did I do? Of course, he’ll start replaying a few scenes from the date and will rethink his words and behavior during the date.
– What does she think of me?
If you bedazzled him with your presence on your first date, he’s interested, he’s very likely to think about whether he bedazzled you just as much as you did.
It’s a normal, usual post-first-date thought anyone might have after enjoying a person’s company on their first date.
– I messed up, no really, I MESSED UP!
If the bedazzling was intense, he’s likely to overthink the date so much that the ‘mistakes’ he made during the date magnify more and more as he thinks of them each time.
After overthinking it, and a constant magnifying of “things I shouldn’t have done” he comes to a conclusion: I messed up, no really, I MESSED UP!
– I should’ve/shouldn’t have said that.
Part of thinking about how he did on the date, especially if he’s very attracted to you, is thinking about things he could’ve done better, or things he shouldn’t have done at all.
He’ll figure it out eventually.
3. I don’t think we fit with each other
Clearly, by the end of a first date, you’ll be having an idea about whether you like the person or not, even if the date went fine-ish.
If the date didn’t go well, and he (and you) didn’t enjoy it, then he’s more likely to think that you don’t fit with each other.
In other words, he’s not interested after the first date.
– That was the first and last date with her.
This is the other end of the spectrum: the date went horrible, and he realized you’re not at all suitable for one another.
On that note, he’s potent to think or even decide that that was the first and the last date you two had.
– She was sweet, but not my type.
You might’ve had a good time, enjoying each other’s company, but you’re not suitable as more than just a friendly company to each other.
If he enjoyed your presence but didn’t see you like his type, he might have thought something along the lines of “She was sweet, but not my type.”
– I’ll keep swiping.
He could be thinking to keep his options open, he was fine with the date, but he didn’t see it as the cap of his dating life.
He’ll keep swiping on dating apps and keep seeing what’s out there besides you.
How to win a guy’s heart on the first date?
4. I like her a lot, I’m not ready for this
There’s another type amongst many types of men! It’s the one who went on the date with the thought of “The hell with it!” and ended up really liking his date.
Let’s see what this type is thinking!
– She really caught me off guard.
He might have just been out of a relationship, or just started dating as a way to give his ego a good boost, or any other reason besides actually dating someone.
In that case, when he meets someone who he really likes, the situation can catch him off guard and him be slightly confused about it.
– How do I handle this, I’m not even ready for a relationship.
He likes you a lot, but he knows he’s not ready to start anything. After your first date, he’ll be thinking about how he can handle the situation he’s facing.
Clearly, he wasn’t prepared for this scenario.
– Do I tell her, or do I keep going to see how things turn out?
Does he tell you he’s not ready to keep this going and let you go, or does he just go with the flow and see where your connection leads you to?
If he was in for anything but dating and he really liked you on that first date, he’ll be caught between letting you go (which he doesn’t have the heart to) or simply going with it.
5. What do I text her? I want a second date
In this scenario he likes you a lot, he’s available, and he definitely wants a second date!
Depending on which type is he, he’ll be either wondering how to ask you for another date, what to text you, or he’ll just be direct and text you right away.
– I don’t want to sound desperate.
He wants to find a polite way to text you and tell you he enjoyed the time with you, but he thinks if he overdoes it he sounds desperate.
He doesn’t want to sound desperate, he likes you and might be scared of rejection, and he wants another second date. How does he tell you that though?
He doesn’t want to sound desperate, so he might wait for a little, or post something on Reddit about it.
If he’s the direct type, he’ll figure it out pretty quickly.
– Do I directly ask her for another date?
If he catches strong feelings after the first date, his mind might just get a little dizzy.
He’ll be torn between just keeping it casual or making plans for another date with you.
He thinks you’re awesome, he’s interested. He just thinks too much about it (if he’s that type) and he’ll struggle a bit until he finds the right words and the right moment.
– That’s it! I’m texting her.
Whether he’s the direct type or the shy type, if he likes you he’ll text you after the first date at some point.
He thinks of texting you, he finds the right words and the right timing, and he just texts you.
If he enjoyed the date a lot, he’s likely to text you that day/night.
But, there are also chances for him to think about it more, and even overthink it to the point he decides to play it cool and text you the next day.
So, is he interested in you after your first date or not, or is he playing it cool?
Whether he enjoyed it or not, whether he’s not sure about it, he’ll be thinking about this date either way.
If he seems lazy with the texts, texts you once after the date, and never again, well, he probably isn’t that much interested.
On the other hand, if he texted you and is consistent about it, or even asked you for a second date, the calculations are clear: he’s interested.
If he liked you a lot, he might play it cool, but won’t do so for too long. Keep that in mind.
What about you, what are you thinking?
If you enjoyed his company, break the silence if there’s any! Be the one to ask him out for another date.
Trust me, it filters the uninterested ones, and it works like a charm!
Callisto
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As an experienced relationship enthusiast, I can confidently dissect the intricacies of post-first-date thoughts and shed light on the underlying psychology behind them. The evidence of my expertise lies in a deep understanding of human behavior, relational dynamics, and the nuances of dating scenarios. Allow me to delve into the concepts embedded in the provided article:
1. Post-Date Thoughts:
a. "What next?"
- After a first date, the common reaction involves pondering the next steps.
- The uncertainty of whether to text, call, or maintain distance creates a mental dilemma.
- Ambiguity about the other person's feelings leads to internal questioning.
b. "How did I do?"
- Reflection on personal performance during the date, replaying scenes, and evaluating behavior.
- Concerns about the other person's perception and interest in return.
- Intensified self-critique in case of perceived mistakes or missteps.
c. "I don’t think we fit with each other"
- Assessment of compatibility and personal interest in pursuing further interaction.
- Potential conclusions that the date might have been the first and last due to lack of connection.
- Acknowledgment of pleasant company but a recognition that it may not extend beyond friendship.
d. "I like her a lot, I’m not ready for this"
- Realization of unexpected strong feelings after initially adopting a nonchalant attitude.
- Internal conflict regarding readiness for a relationship, especially if recent experiences contribute to hesitancy.
- Deliberation on whether to communicate these feelings or continue exploring the connection.
e. "What do I text her? I want a second date"
- Expressing interest in a second date while navigating the delicate balance between eagerness and desperation.
- Consideration of the right timing and wording to convey genuine interest without appearing too forward.
- Internal debate on whether to wait or initiate contact promptly.
2. Communication Strategies:
a. Direct Communication
- Individuals who are more straightforward may promptly express their thoughts and intentions.
- Decisiveness in initiating contact, planning future dates, and openly discussing feelings.
b. Overthinking and Indirect Approaches
- Some individuals, prone to overthinking, might delay communication or seek external advice.
- Strategies such as playing it cool, waiting for the right moment, or crafting the perfect message.
3. Indicators of Interest:
a. Consistency in Communication
- Regular and consistent text messages as a positive sign of ongoing interest.
- Infrequent or one-sided communication may indicate waning interest.
b. Action-Oriented Interest
- Expressing interest not only through words but also by actively suggesting or planning future dates.
- Taking tangible steps to move the relationship forward.
4. Reciprocity:
- Encouraging individuals to take initiative if they enjoyed the date, emphasizing the effectiveness of breaking the silence.
- Recognizing that proactive communication can help filter out those who may not be genuinely interested.
In conclusion, deciphering post-first-date thoughts involves navigating a complex interplay of emotions, self-reflection, and communication dynamics. Understanding these nuances can empower individuals to interpret signals accurately and make informed decisions about the trajectory of a potential relationship.
