We live in a world where lying has become a fairly common occurrence. Indeed, there are now organizations specializing in fact checking political statements and business releases to uncover the fabrications often presented.
Of course, it's not just political figures or business leaders with a monopoly on fibbing to us. Lies happen in most homes, whether it's the little boy standing over the smashed vase he says he didn't break, or the teenager offering a story for why she was two hours past curfew last night.
For many lies, the reasons are complicated. Sometimes it's to protect the liar from being punished, or to protect someone else from punishment. The lie might be to avoid being embarrassed, to hide an awkward situation, or to simply have others think better of the person telling the fib. Such lying isn't admirable, but not hard to understand why it occurs.
It's harder to fathom why some people often tell lies with no clear purpose and when the lies are usually easy to disprove. Researchers say there are various reasons why some people lie compulsively.
One is that the lie being told may not seem a lie to the person telling it. Repetitive liars can sometimes feel so much pressure that their memory is unreliable. They try to relieve that pressure by saying something that will make the situation work. For that person, what was just said is what they want to believe. The person lying may so badly want the lie to be the truth that the lie becomes his or her actual truth.
People who lie repeatedly often have a desire to be in control. When the truth of a situation doesn't agree with such control, they produce a lie that does conform to the narrative they desire.
Such people may also worry they won't be respected if the truth can leave them looking poorly. Instead, they offer a lie that casts them in a good light, but they aren't able to see that in most cases that what they offered has no basis in reality.
It would be nice if we could believe everything we are told, whether from that child with the broken vase or from that politician at a political rally. But that's not going to happen and therefore it's important for all of us to sometimes dig just a little deeper and try to find the actual truth.
FAQs
For many lies, the reasons are complicated. Sometimes it's to protect the liar from being punished, or to protect someone else from punishment. The lie might be to avoid being embarrassed, to hide an awkward situation, or to simply have others think better of the person telling the fib.
What is the biggest reason people lie? ›
However, of the most common motives for telling lies, avoiding punishment is the primary motivator for both children and adults. Other typical reasons include protecting ourselves or others from harm, maintaining privacy, and avoiding embarrassment, to name a few.
Why do people lie about things that don't matter? ›
While some people who lie want to protect the feelings of others and spare someone else pain or hurt, many people lie to protect their own feelings, self-esteem, self-confidence, or other personal emotion. A woman who says, "I didn't want that job anyway," when she really did, is lying to protect herself.
What science tells us about why we lie answers? ›
We are more likely to lie, research shows, when we are able to rationalize it, when we are stressed and fatigued, or when we see others being dishonest. And we are less likely to lie when we have moral reminders or when we think others are watching.
How do you outsmart a liar? ›
10 Ways to Catch a Liar
- Tip No. 1: Inconsistencies.
- Tip No. 2: Ask the Unexpected.
- Tip No. 3: Gauge Against a Baseline.
- Tip No. 4: Look for Insincere Emotions.
- Tip No. 5: Pay Attention to Gut Reactions.
- Tip No. 6: Watch for Microexpressions.
- Tip No. 7: Look for Contradictions.
- Tip No. 8: A Sense of Unease.
Being a pathological liar is not in itself a mental health diagnosis. It is not included in the DSM-5, which lists mental health disorders. However, it is an established concept in psychology. Pathological lying is related to disordered thinking patterns and beliefs.
What is the psychology behind people who lie a lot? ›
Research indicates pathological lying can occur because of low self-esteem and a false sense of self. People who lie pathologically may want others to view them positively, making things up to make them look better. Their desire to create a false sense of self could indicate that they are unhappy with themselves.
Which type of people lie the most? ›
The surprising personality types who lie the most
- First up, there's 'the people pleaser' ...
- The habitual liar. ...
- The fearful liar. ...
- The drama queen. ...
- People also lie to re-gain control over a situation. ...
- The pathological liar.
The narcissistic liar
This type of person never admits to making a mistake, even when the mistake could be a growth opportunity for your PR team. He or she is often a "people person" seeking attention when things go right, bragging or exaggerating accomplishments, while being quick to place blame and criticize others.
Why do liars get angry when confronted? ›
"When a liar becomes hostile or defensive, he is attempting to turn the tables on you," says Glass. The liar will get hostile because he is angry that you've discovered his lies, which may result in a lot of pointing.
Manipulative behavior occurs when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can damage a person's psychological well-being.
Is lying about something Gaslighting? ›
Lying, by itself, does not necessarily amount to gaslighting or psychological control in its truest sense. The person will have to do more, e.g., intentionally try to distort your memory, sense of reality, or cause you to question your emotional stability. Elements of deception are involved, similar to lying.
Why are humans so deceitful? ›
Our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into our very fabric, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.
What are the psychological effects of being lied to? ›
They alter our reality, reframing it through the agenda of the person who doesn't want the truth to come out. Being lied to makes you feel insecure – your version of the truth is discredited. It also makes you feel unimportant – the person lying to you didn't value you enough to tell the truth.
What do we lose when we tell a lie? ›
Some of the consequences of lying are:
1) You will lose the trust of people and when you lose the trust of others, you lose your value as a person. Nobody will believe you. 2) If someone lies to you and you find out, you will be hurt. So, you should understand that in the same token if you tell a lie, it hurts others.
When people lie do they over explain? ›
This justification manifests itself in the form of verbal cues. Liars often provide more information than necessary to make their story sound believable. For example, they may provide too much detail or use excessive qualifiers (e.g., “I didn't exactly see what happened, but…”).
How do you deal with a liar? ›
Strategies for Detecting and Responding to Lying
- Love Truth. ...
- Forget Body Language – Focus on the Words. ...
- Tell Them You Value Honesty. ...
- Observe What Happens When Details are Questioned. ...
- Ask Open-Ended Questions. ...
- Don't Let on That You Know They're Lying. ...
- Watch for the Evidence of Patterns of Dishonesty. ...
- Research the Big Ones.
Often times, deception is used to benefit oneself through self-promotion, self-protection, or to achieve the desired gain (Abe, 2011). In other instances, individuals lie for others, frequently to protect the feelings of friends and family.
Is a lie that makes us realize? ›
Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand.
